What Went Wrong
Dating Again (Ask A Guy)
tellie123, 21 writes...
This guy and I dated in December and broke up in January. We still remained really close and we are really good friends now because we are so much alike. Now it's gotten to where he calls me every now and then but every time we hang out now he always will kiss me goodbye. Does him kissing me mean anything? Or is it just because we are so close?
Daniel says...
Guys kissing a girl goodbye is one thing when the girl initiates a friendly kiss on the cheek. But when a guy initiates the kiss with the girl he's either gay, European, or interested in dating you. Given that you dated already, it's safe to say that gay is out. Your manner of speech doesn't indicate a propensity for British English, so I assume European is also out. That leaves "interested in dating you." He is calling you on occasion, but it sounds like he is probably trying to take things slowly and see where they go. He may even be intimidated at the thought of asking you out due to your past relationship. Hey may be worried about making a move too quickly out of fear that you don't really want to give things another try.
If the possibility of dating again does present itself, remember that you need to be careful not to make the same mistakes and fall into the same behaviors that caused your relationship to break down the first time you dated. When we are with someone we know, it is human nature to fall into known behavior. Why do you think so many second-chance relationships fail? It's because we all have certain behaviors and certain expectations that are "automatic"; often we have no control over the actions and don't even realize we're doing them. Spend some time assessing what happened the last time you dated. Why did you break up? What could have been done differently? Remember that even if it was something that he did to end the relationship, there were likely some behaviors you did to contribute to it.
Even if you don't wind up dating this guy again, this assessment will be useful for you to apply to future relationships. The best thing we can do is be ready when that next person comes along for us.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, second chances, what went wrong