Tangled Relationship Webs

“Quite Serious” (Ask A Guy)

Cassie, 13 from Australia

Hey Daniel! I'm sorry to bother you, but this is quite serious. I heard you advised Leah. She's one of my good friends. Well Jason (the boy she likes) seemed to like her a bit. She was overreacting though about him, don't you think? I mean, it's obvious that he wouldn't really like a girl like her. She was getting really excited and stuff. Then she asked you what you thought. I'm not blaming you for what happened. Then I found out that he had a girlfriend. She's quite pretty, actually. I was really jealous. I tried to tell Leah but she didn't listen. She didn't care. Then, on the night of the play she came and talked to me. She said that she was sure that he liked her. She didn't know that I like Jason. I was scared to tell her. Then Misty (a girl who doesn't like me) told her that I was after him. Jason doesn't really hang out with me much. Not like he does with Leah. But he's cold toward her now because she asked him out and he turned her down. So what should I do? I really like Jason, I mean really like! But I don't think I have a chance with him. What do you think?

Daniel's advice:

I think it's a foregone conclusion that you stand less of a chance with Jason than Leah does. Aside from the fact that you're the same age as Leah (a reason I cited to her as something that complicates a potential relationship) and the fact that he doesn't really talk to you, some of the statements you make are downright petty and judgmental. "It's obvious that he wouldn't really like a girl like her." What is that supposed to mean? It sounds as though you're looking down your nose at Leah and, whether or not you are, phrasing it like that will give others the impression that you do. It would be best for both you and Leah to try to find a guy (preferably a different one for each of you) that is closer to your own age.

Tags: ask a guy, obsessive friends, tangled relationship webs, passing judgment

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