Staying Hard
Why Won’t He Stay Hard? (Sex Ed 101)
katie, 21 writes...
So, me and my boyfriend have just started trying to have sex but he can't stay up. I'm his first girlfriend and he's never had sex or any kind of sexual experience before. He's more than happy to take care of my needs but I really want to reciprocate. He can get halfway there, but then he loses it. When he is fully hard its only for a little bit and if he puts on a condom or we get ready to do anything then he loses it again. We've talked about it, and he says he doesn't feel nervous or anything and that he doesn't know why its happening. He doesn't have a problem when he's alone and jacking off, and he says its not me or anything. Is there something I can do to help him out? He's only 22.Brittany says...
Being a young adult and not being able to maintain an erection isn't totally uncommon, but it can still be really frustrating. Does your boyfriend smoke (cigarettes, cigars, marijuana) or drink alcohol? Any of those can affect him, especially if done is excess. It could definitely be mental, and even if you both feel relaxed, it could be subconscious. Try some dirty talking in bed when you two are fooling around after a few minutes, or whenever he would usually start to lose his erection. While I don't think it's a medical condition since he can stay erect when he's alone, it could be something better taken care of by a professional, such as a counselor, if nothing is ever working.
Tags: sex, condoms, staying hard, erections, going soft