Shy Girls
Managing Communication (Ask A Guy)
Cheerios, 18 writes...
Dear Daniel,
There's this guy that is obviously interested in me. I am also interested in him. No problem, right? Wrong. I am extremely shy and I know that guys are attracted to outgoing and confident girls, which I'm not. I've never had a boyfriend before. I don't want him to lose interest. What do I do?
Thanks!
Daniel says...
Confidence isn't about knowing all the answers or being able to flawlessly handle every situation you encounter. It's about being happy with who you are and not being bothered when things don't go according to plan - and that includes not being bothered by not having a boyfriend. Being carefree is a type of confidence - you don't need to be outgoing to capture a guy's interest. While it certainly helps, it is far from necessary. The most important thing is to give off the impression that you enjoy yourself (particularly when you're hanging out with them) and let thing develop from there.
Even if you are shy, there's nothing wrong with approaching a guy and asking how his day is going. Think about it this way: if he totally blows you off for asking a simple, friendly question then is he really the type of guy you want to date? Keep a couple topics in the back of your mind that you can talk about, but don't be afraid to let the guy lead conversation a little, too. The guy should, after all, do some of the work! Most importantly, if you feel the conversation lagging, excuse yourself for one reason or another and give yourselves a chance to recharge and try again later. Relationships don't happen overnight and not all conversations go smoothly. To this day, I have occasional lapses in conversation with even my best friends. It's just a fact of life. Don't be afraid of them, just learn how to manage them.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, communication, shy girls