Seniors

Road Trip: Asking Permission (Big Sister)

ColoradoChic2010, 17 writes...

I am currently a senior in high school in Colorado and me and my friends would like to go on a road trip after graduation. My best friend's grandparents live out in California and apparently have a very spacious house where the five of us could stay for the week. The only problem is that my parents don't think I should go because it's "not safe". I don't get it! My friends are all good kids that my parents have met and approve of, and I will be the only person on the trip that will not be 18, but I'll only be a few weeks shy of it. I told them that we would stop at a hotel halfway there so that we wouldn't be driving through the night, that I would text/call them regularly with updates, and that once we got to CA we would be staying at my friend's Christian grandparents home. But they still won't go for! I'm trying to be reasonable, but I feel that as a straight A student taking 4 AP classes while captaining a very young lacrosse team that I have proven myself to be responsible and therefore should be trusted to have this one last carefree escape with my friends before we separate for college and never see each other again. Any ideas that might make my parents more comfortable with allowing me on this road trip? Thanks for any advice!

Ivette says...

Oh, I think your parents should become good friends with mine. My parents are exactly the same. Even right now where I am on my way to my 20s they still feel the need to restrict me from doing things with my friends. I thought this was always strange since I never went to party when I was in high school. I stayed in all the weekends, did my homework, spend a lot of family time, and never gave them any trouble. When it came to asking them to allow me to do certain things, they would always oppose. It seems that throwing them the whole "I-am-an-A-student" won't work because in some instances your parents do expect you to get good grades and be a good kid. So I would advice you not to do that. This winter holiday I actually went to a cabin and spent a whole weekend together with a couple of friends, in normal circumstances they would of never let me, but I'll give you some tips on how I made it possible. First, you have to recognize which parent you get along with the most. Start confining to them more and just slowly talk to them about the trip. Every time they ask about your friend you can say "Oh she is fine, she is pretty excited about the graduation trip". And you can leave it at that. This way your parents will be conscience how much the trip means to your friends. Don't try to insist on you just going or asking them to think about it. When they see you're handling it better, they will reconsider their choice.Spend time with them, something I notice is that parents sometimes don't really know their kids. Sure they may know what kind of personality you have, but do they really know you? Having a good relationship with your parents is very important, show them what type of music you like, talk to them about school and your friends. Maybe opening up to them will help you in the long run. Invite over your friends if you can so your parents can get comfortable with them even more, and they can see what type of teens they are. Also, make them participate in graduation preparations. This way your parents will see how important graduation is to you and your friends. When April starts rolling in, make sure you have talked to your friends about the trip and planned everything perfectly. Parents like plans, it's more likely for them to approve of something that is neatly planned than the typical, "Hey, I am going to Cali, peace out!". Write in a piece of paper an agenda of what you will do each day, phone numbers and addresses. Make sure a responsible adult with a license will be driving the car. Hopefully these tips will work out, good luck!

Tags: parents, relationship, teens, high school, growing up, independent, road trip, graduation, seniors

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