Sad

Feeling Down (Big Sister)

Siren, 19 writes...

Hey there! Just need some advice. As of late I seem to be feeling very down and depressed especially at night. I'm not sure why but it's affecting me where I'm just so down i don't really want to do anything: studying, homework, nothing. I basically just mope, watch TV or play games. I don't feel like that at all when I'm around my friends at school. So I don't know what's wrong lately when I'm at home. Any advice? Also, I broke up with my ex of a year and a half some months ago and I think I am ready to get back into the dating game, not necessarily serious commitment or any thing but dates, flirting and such. But I'm not sure how to really start again. I guess I was with him so long I've kind of forgotten how to do those flirty stuff. Care to help? Plus, I think there might be a guy or two I am interested in. How can I get them to start noticing me as a bit more than a friend?

Ivette says...

You listed a number of concerns so I'll try my best to answer them in their respective order. First off, it's not really normal for you to feel sad when you're in your house. It sounds like you may have some degree of depression, or that you feel you're lonely. Is there any other problems at home going on? Is some thing at home making you feel this way? Try to think about the things that may be causing you to be sad and try to see if you can fix them. Talk to a close friend or parent if you feel a little lost. Talking to some one, any one, can help you clear your head and release some of the pressure. Do so and I am sure you will feel much much better. You mentioned you don't feel this way when you're with your friends. Try to spend more time with them, or outside. You can always pick up a new hobby or play a sport. Maybe the problem is that you feel alone most of the time, especially coming out of a very long relationship. This can be influencing your current behavior so don't ignore it, look it up and seek help! Now to get back to your dating game. Try simply hanging out with your friends! Go to the movies, parties and try to have a good time. When you're placed in more social positions, you're more likely to engage with a much diverse pool of people. Try making new friends, talking to different people and exchanging numbers. I know it is not as easy as it sounds but it's not that bad when you get the hang of things. Meeting people is a fun process so remember to always be yourself. If you're already interested in a guy or two, try going on dates! Suggest hanging out in someones place, inviting them out to a movie or an even of some sort. If you want to start off hanging out with a group of people that's fine too. The fun thing about dating is that you get to experiment and discover the different quirks of the people you're seeing and what you like and dislike. It can also be an excellent time to reinvent yourself and maybe pamper or do a mini make over. Go out and have fun!

Tags: advice, big sister, dating, friends, break up, emotions, fun, sad, depression

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Depression or “Teen Angst”? (Health Nut)

Alyssa, 15 from New Hampshire, USA writes...

How can you tell the difference between true depression and the "teen angst" adults talk about? I find it hard to believe that how I feel on a regular basis can be considered simply hormones.

Jamie says...

Great question! What many parents don't realise is that depression is more common in teens than in adults. Yet even with these high numbers of depressed teens, only 20% seek help.

Part of the problem that people have when trying to figure out teen depression is that they assume that depression=sad. While feelings of sadness are certainly a part of depression, what researchers have found is that in teens the depression will often make them irritable and grouchy moreso than just sad. So how does one tell this apart from 'teen angst'...? It depends on how you want to look at it. Some people have suggested that teen angst is actually depression, but that it was never identified and went untreated. Others feel that if you wait long enough, the feeling will pass. However, the same could be said for depression as well.

The best way to approach it is to look over the symptoms of depression, and see how many you identify with. Teenshealth.org has a great page on depression, and here's a quote from their list of symptoms.

• depressed mood or sadness most of the time (for what may seem like no reason)  
• lack of energy and feeling tired all the time  
• inability to enjoy things that used to bring pleasure  
• withdrawal from friends and family  
• irritability, anger, or anxiety  
• inability to concentrate  
• significant weight loss or gain  
• significant change in sleep patterns (inability to fall asleep, stay asleep, or get up in the morning)  
• feelings of guilt or worthlessness  
• aches and pains (even though nothing is physically wrong)  
• pessimism and indifference (not caring about anything in the present or future)  
• thoughts of death or suicide

Should you find yourself with 5 or more of these symptoms, and they last for more than a month (continuously), then it is quite possible you suffer from depression.

Since it can be hard to put things into perspective when a person is depressed, I strongly suggest keeping a journal, and writing down how you feel and when you feel it. The reason being is that depression often makes it hard to remember things and focus, so writing down your thoughts will help you to see what you have felt, and if you are feeling better or worse.

Most importantly though, if anyone thinks they are suffering from depression, don't suffer in silence. You may feel no one cares, but that's not true, that the depression making you feel that way. The best way to deal with depression is to see your family doctor, and lay it on the line with them. They will be able provide the help you need.

If you (or anyone else) is depressed and you have parents that think that it is just 'teen angst', I would recommend a book called "More Than Moody: Recognizing and Treating Adolescent Depression", by Dr. Harold S. Koplewicz, a child psychiatrist. (Amazon link) The paperback is only $6 bucks new (or 1 cent + shipping for used copies), or you can probably find it at your local library. The book has been endorsed by the presidents of the American Psychiatric Association and the American Academy of Pediatrics, as well as former depression sufferers Tipper Gore and "60 Minutes" newsman Mike Wallace. Have them read it, and that should give them a better understanding of this complex issue.
 

(Originally posted in December 2005 - edited for content)


Got a health related question? Worried about something and you want an adult opinion? Let me know. Click here then scroll to the very bottom of the page and enter your text into the box - then click submit.

Tags: health nut, parents, teens, suicide, sad, depression, symptoms, teen angst

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Depression is Not Just the ‘Blues’ (Health Nut)

Ling, 15 from Canada writes...

I think I might have depression. What should I do?

Jamie says...

I'm glad you decided to write in. Depression is a serious illness, and it needs to be taken seriously. Before you continue, you need to first try and figure out the kind of depression you may have. While different forms of depression can have similar effects on the body, the manner of treatment is different depending on how you are affected. There are three basic forms of depression that we can look at.

Psychological depression happens when a person suffers from an event that upsets them. This can be something as simple as the break-up with a boyfriend to something more dramatic like a death in the family. The impact can be the same though. While it is normal for people to feel depressed in certain situations like this, if the depression lasts for more than 6 weeks then it is time to see a doctor about it.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) is another type of depression that is common this time of year. It is basically a reaction of the body to low levels of light. I know in Ontario where I live there has been a lot of overcast days where there was little if any sun, and December 23rd is the shortest day of the year in terms of available sunlight. This can combine to give the symptoms of depression, when the person was feeling fine in the summer.

Biochemical depression is a chemical imbalance in the brain that can cause symptoms of depression to occur when there is no reason for it. A person can have a great life, everything is going their way, nothing that would cause a person to feel depressed. However, out of the blue, they start feeling depressed for no reason. Medical science doesn't know the cause of why this can happen, although they do know it is related to a chemical imbalance of some fashion.

The way you should deal with this is the same for any form of depression. First off, if you feel so depressed that you are at risk to harm yourself, you need to seek help immediately. Be it dialling 911 or talking to friends, parents or a suicide hotline, don't let this get so serious that your life is at risk.

If you aren't at that level, but still feel lousy, then the first step is to educate yourself about depression so you can understand more about it. Check out this page for info on general depression, and/or check out this page if you think this depression is related to a lack of light.

Once you have read up on depression, you next move is to make an appointment to see your family doctor. They will talk to you and help determine how to best treat your depression. It can be as simple as counselling, or you may need medication. In more serious cases they may refer you to a specialist. However, the doctor needs to ask you a number of questions to determine what the best form of treatment is. Depression is not something you can self-treat or just 'cheer up' and get over. It's a serious illness that needs to be dealt with promptly before it gets worse.


(Originally posted in December 2006)


Got a health related question? Worried about something and you want an adult opinion? Let me know.  Click here then scroll to the very bottom of the page and enter your text into the box - then click submit.

Tags: health nut, sad, depression, seasonal affective disorder

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