Oral Sex
Blow Jobs (Sex Ed 101)
caligirl44, 18 writes...
Simple question. How do you give a blow job - and ONLY give a blow job... and not have sex. I'm ready for oral sex, or to be giving oral sex, but I'm a little overweight, and not yet comfy to let someone see me naked. So how do I keep a BJ, and at just making out and a BJ? Thanks.Brittany says...
Well simply, don't do anything further than oral sex if you're not ready. Don't let anybody convince you otherwise. I find that most guys won't stop you in the midst of oral sex, especially when they're liking it. Setting boundaries with your partner and discussing what you're comfortable with and what you're not comfortable with will make things less awkward and avoid having a discussion about not going further in the middle of intimacy.As far as not being ready to be seen naked, there's no rules that you must be naked in order to give somebody oral sex. As far as receiving it, obviously you would most likely be completely naked from the waist down, but if you're not comfortable with having your shirt off or something, then don't take it off. Everyone has insecurities about their body though, and as time goes on and you get more comfortable with being intimate with somebody, you'll relax a little and become more confident in your body.
For both cases, just remember, don't do anything you're not comfortable in doing or you're not ready for. Somebody that's going to pressure you further or into boundaries you're not ready to be in, definitely is not worth your time!
Tags: blow jobs, oral sex, body image
Blow Jobs 101 (Sex Ed 101)
anonymous, 17 writes...
I was wondering, how do you give a blow job? Me and my boyfriend don't want to have sex, but are willing to do pretty much anything else. Can you give me some ideas as to what we can do?Brittany says...
The thing about blow jobs are that there is a basic concept (a very simple one), but the rest is up to the couple and the individual. Basically, blow jobs consist of any variation of sucking or licking the penis. If you wish, you can put your hand on the shaft of his penis and put your mouth around the head (the tip), which tends to be one of the most sensitive areas of the penis. Your hand can do the motions of a hand job, while your mouth gives more pleasure to where your can cannot reach. What helps is to ask what your boyfriend likes as you keep going and explore different techniques and variations of where to put your mouth and what to do with your tongue. Contrary to the name, a blow job does not consist of blowing. And whatever you do, don't use your teeth. If your boyfriend shows interest in the use of teeth, that's fine, but most guys don't enjoy it. After all, they're very protective of their manhood!Aside from oral sex, you can investigate dry sex, or "outer" course... which would be going through the motions of sex while having clothes on. Watching porn together might also be something to try, if you two are comfortable with it, or even taking a bath or shower together. Always make sure you and your partner discuss what you might venture into doing to make sure you both are comfortable with it, since trying new things can be scary.
Frequent Fellacio (Sex Ed 101)
Anonymous, 17 writes...
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half, and we have engaged in oral sex, but nothing further. I'm very happy with this arrangement, but for the past few months he has been pressuring me for it all the time. I hate feeling like I 'have' to do something to keep him happy, and when I try to explain to him how being intimate is different to girls he shrugs it off and tells me to 'get over it'. I don't know how to change our sexual relationship so I feel like it's not something we have to have. Help?Brittany says...
First and foremost, your boyfriend needs to understand that any type of sex isn't a right - it's a privilege. I don't want to make it sound like it's something to be earned, but really, when you think about it, isn't it? Generally speaking, something like oral sex comes when two people trust each other, as well as respect each other... and pressuring somebody to do something when they don't want to, isn't okay.
You've done the right thing by explaining your feelings towards your boyfriend, but sometimes boys can be a little thick headed and not really understand the way you think they do. Sit him down again and tell him that pressuring you into doing it all the time, makes you feel uncomfortable and unhappy with it. Let him know that you'd rather do it because you both want to, not because you feel it's an obligation... it's a way to express your feelings towards each other (emotional, sexual, etc.) and by doing it all the time, it's going to lose that excitement and the meaning behind it. Don't do it just to make him happy, though. Giving in to his pressure isn't going to solve anything.
Hopefully he'll get it, otherwise he's being a jerk. "Get over it" isn't an acceptable response to you explaining your feelings. If he doesn't understand and keeps pressuring you, lose him and find yourself somebody who's much more worth your time.
Tags: sex, relationships, blow jobs, oral sex, peer pressure, boyfriends, fellacio
How to Go From Nay to YAY! in the Bedroom (For Dummies) (Sex Ed 101)
This article contains matter of a sexual nature. if you are uncomfortable with topics This sort, I advise you to read a different article. Thank you!
If you're ready to make your sex life more sizzling, but unsure of where to start, everything you need is right here! Whether you're looking to spice things up with your boyfriend, girlfriend, or even just have some fun alone, here is a fun and easy guide to find just what you might be looking for!
Vibrators and Dildos
Vibrators and dildos are a great way to bring something new and fun into your bedroom life, but can also be a lot of fun when you're alone.
The Vibe Me Sensual Pleasure is a great choice for somebody who is a little intimidated by all the gadgets vibrators might have and just wants something plain and simple. It's waterproof and easy to clean, plus it comes in a variety of colors!
If you're looking for something a little more fancy, check out the Rotating G-Spot Rabbit Vibrator! For the price, it's great - including a rotating shaft (to feel more realistic), moving pearls (for hitting your g-spot, and rubbing against your outer and inner vagina), a curved tip (to really hit your g-spot!), plus "rabbit ears" to vibrate and hit your clitoris. Unfortunately, it isn't waterproof... but the Best Buy Butterfly comes highly recommended from a friend of mine. It's waterproof, and you can control the rotation of the shaft, plus the vibration speed for your clitoris.
If you are looking for something to share, the Super Jelly Realistic Double Dildo might be something you want to try. It's realistic and waterproof and can be a good choice if you're both women. The description states that it can even be bent in half and used for vaginal and anal penetration!
Adult Movies
Kick back and put in some porn with your lover! No, really, I'm being completely serious! I won't sit here and recommend videos for you, because that's the fun in it... but the internet works wonders, as do porn shops. Find one that seems interesting, watch it, and see what happens. You can try certain things you saw in the movie, or just watch it to get in the mood. Whatever floats your body, the sky's the limit!
Adult Games
Say you're lucky enough to have the place to yourselves, and you want to try something new. Ever think about a board game? It might not be your usual board game, but there are plenty of fun, new, and interesting ideas for you to try. Spicy Dice have always been a favorite of mine - roll and find out what you're doing, where on their body, and where in the house!
If Spicy Dice don't seem thrilling enough, how about some Romance Roulette? The directions seem simple enough - "Spin the wheel and see where the ball lands…then draw the matching card and let the spicy games begin." Who wouldn't want to give it a whirl?
And then there's the always famous Body Paint. Ever wondered what it would be like to get a tattoo of something? Let your lover be the artist and draw all over your body, then the best part of all - lick it off! This set of body paint comes in 4 delicious flavors... Cherry, Piña Colada, Blueberry and Banana!
Lotions and Lubricants
You can't forget the plain and simple things in your sex life. Lotions and lubricants can certainly spice things up if you venture outside of the plain KY Jelly you pick up at the drugstore.
If you're interested in trying anal sex, you must have lubrication. Check out System Jo H20 Lubricant designed specifically for anal sex. It's water based, long lasting, and created to never feel sticky or tacky. If it's your first time, however, Adam & Eve Anal Easy Lubricant is suggested for it's slight (but rapid) numbing agent. Not only will it slightly numb, it will relax the sphincter, allowing for easier penetration.
The Wet® Together™ His & Hers Lubricant is a fantastic combination for couples... the man's lubricant warms, while the woman's lubricant tingles. Then when you put them togehter - they make magic! These are both water based, so they can be used with sex toys, condoms, and are easy to clean up if there happens to be a spill.
If you want to make oral sex more interesting when you're performing, check out the Good Head Oral Sex Sampler. This gem contains 5 - 1 oz. bottles of flavored lubricants including the following flavors: Wild Cherry, Juicy Passion Fruit, Sweet Strawberry, Mystical Mint and Sexy Cinnamon. The containers are big enough to figure out which ones you like and which ones you don't, but small enough to not feel like you wasted your money if you don't particularly enjoy one or two. Plus, once you find out which ones you are crazy about, you can buy one bigger tube of a single flavor!
More Sexy Things...
Of course, there are plenty of other things that would make me go on and on and write and write, but it's time to close this section of Sex Ed 101. If you aren't particularly crazy about the website I choose for this article (Adam & Eve), you can check out any of websites below:
Or even brave what your parents did when they were young - visit the local porn shop... in person!
Tags: sex, relationships, blow jobs, oral sex, porn, vibrators, lubricants, sexual intercourse, sex toys, dildos
As Slim Goodbody Would Say… (Ask A Guy)
SweetiePaige, 20 writes...
I really want my boyfriend to go down on me, but he is not that experienced and I have a feeling the idea it would initially scare him. He's made no indication that he would think to do this without my mentioning it. What is a good way to go about asking in a way that would be "safe." It's not that we are uncomfortable talking about sex, we do all the time, but with this particular thing I'm afraid he's not going to feel comfortable with it right at first and I don't want to pressure or scare him. Any advice?
Daniel says...
If you're comfortable talking about sex with your boyfriend, then you shouldn't have any problem talking about oral sex. If things come out awkwardly or not how you intended them, it shouldn't make him obscenely mad or cause him to question his relationship with you. If it does, then he is entirely too superficial for his own good. Awkward moments are inevitable in a relationship and getting past them is part of a healthy relationship and part of the healthy development of a relationship. To a certain extent, you need to simply sit on your nerves and ask your boyfriend. The rest will work itself out on its own. Sure, it might be a little awkward at first, but you'll get past it.
Think about how your boyfriend asks you to go down on him. However he asks you is an indication of just what kind of request he is comfortable with. If he's okay asking you to go down on him in a certain way, then he should be okay with you asking him to return the favor in the exact same way. If he isn't comfortable with that, then he's a hypocrite. If he hasn't actually asked you to go down on him, then he may be scared of taking things too fast. If that's the case, then you probably need to get the ball rolling yourself by going down on him sometime when you are intimate. If you already have performed oral sex on him, then next time you're getting intimate with him, say something like, "I want you to go down on me." "Will you go down on me" is another way you could accomplish this same task.
Keep in mind that if this is about not knowing what to say, then that's one thing. But if this is about not being comfortable saying what you need to say, then you need to consider whether you are ready for oral sex.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, oral sex, intimacy
Man vs. Woman (Sex Ed 101)
Allison, 19 writes...
First of all I'd just like to say that I think its great that you guys have provided a place for people of all ages to ask questions to things they may normally be afraid to ask in person, good job! I myself have two questions. First of all, I have been dating my boyfriend for 6 months and we are very serious- going to be getting married. Last night we spent the night together and we gave each other oral for the first time. Personally I find it gross, but I did it anyways for him. However something bothered me. Once he was hard everything was fine, but after a while he started to get soft again despite my attempts to stop this from happening. And he said a few times "Here,let me do it", referring to getting himself hard again. I said no and ignored it. But then this morning he did the same thing again only this time I stopped and told him what a turn off it is and didn't continue. It really hurts my feelings because it makes me feel like he gets turned on more by himself than me, and that I don't do a good enough job. I told him this and he said he's sorry and didn't mean to hurt my feelings. But now after that comment I can't help but feel insecure and not want to do it anymore. What can I say/do to make it better? Second, is it normal for men to be waaaayyy hornier than girls? My boyfriend gets turned on so easily and gets very excited/moany. But it is so hard for me to have an orgasm with him, I don't think I have even experienced a full one with him. I am just wondering if there is something wrong with me, or if it could just be that we haven't had actual sex, just oral. Are there any supplements or anything I could take to increase my libido or something? I know its a lot of writing but please, I need some answers/advice! ThanksBrittany says...
Thanks for your support - that's what I love about my job here... I can be that person to hopefully answer the questions people are sometimes afraid to ask!
From the sounds of it, you and your boyfriend/husband to be are still quite inexperienced with each other and are still getting to know the ropes. It can take a while to get comfortable with your significant other sexually and sometimes that can affect certain aspects of the relationship like libido and loss of an erection.
You've done the right thing by telling him it hurts your feelings when he says things like "let me do it". The next step would be to ask him what he likes for you to do, or what you can do to prevent it from happening again. It's probably nothing to do with you, so you should try to not feel insecure, as difficult as it may be. You say that you didn't really enjoy oral sex much, is there a reason for this? You might not realize it, but you could be physically showing that you're not into the oral sex and that might be a turn off for your boyfriend. I've heard that acting like you're loving every minute of giving him oral sex and pleasuring him can be the best part about receiving it for him! I think if you ask him something like "What are your 3 favorite things for me to do in bed?" or "What's something that you'd love for me to do tonight?", you'll be on the right road to making everything work!
As far as your libido, there are always those libido enhancers they advertise on the internet and TV, but I'm a skeptic and I'm not quite sure they actually work. Are you on birth control or any prescription medications? Sometimes things like that can affect your sex drive! But other than that, sometimes guys just are generally hornier. That's not to say that women can't be though, too. There's nothing wrong with you, unless you're never wanting to get down and dirty with your man, and in that case, I'd suggest talking to a doctor about it. Although, if you're feeling self conscious and insecure about your abilities in bed with him, that could definitely affect your libido. Think about it - if you're worried that you're going to fail again when you try to pleasure him, wouldn't that make you apprehensive about getting in bed with him? I know I wouldn't be feeling too hot and horny if that's always on my mind!
Tags: sex, blow jobs, oral sex, losing erections, libido, pleasuring, sex drive, sexual enhancement
Blow Jobs (on Ex-Boyfriends) (Sex Ed 101)
Lily, 19 writes...
I have a question about blow jobs. I am best friends with one of my ex-boyfriends, and we still have a great relationship and hook up every once in a while. I trust him more than anyone else in the world and I've never felt safer than with him. I have given him a hand job and we've had sex, but I've never given him a blow job. Every time it comes up, I totally want to do it, but I freeze up and I don't. Any reason why that could be? No one has ever given him a blow job before, so it's not like I have anything to live up to, but it still scares the crap out of me. Any advice?Brittany says...
Well, first thing is first - this boy is an ex for a reason. Staying sexually involved with any boyfriend isn't really the best of ideas, but I don't know your situation and you didn't ask, so I won't harp on that. But seriously... you might want to think twice about that type of relationship with someone that's an ex boyfriend.
Now, blow jobs! Think of it this way... your face is kind of sensitive, right? It's got your eyes, mouth, nose, ears... basically every sense you have in about a foot of space. And you're going to put all of your senses, everything you've got, and go face first into another person's most personal space? That's a little scary for the first time, right? If you've given other people blow jobs, you know what to expect and it shouldn't be as scary, especially if your ex really is somebody you feel this comfortable with. But if he's going to be your first, it's scary no matter what!
I had a terrible first experience with my first boyfriend to the point where I never did it again with him or anyone else until my current boyfriend... FOUR YEARS LATER. It's putting yourself in a very vulnerable position, which could be why you freeze up. I say, if you really want to, just take a deep breath when you're thinking about it and just close your eyes and go for it. It's the only way I could get over my fear I built up. And if you decide you don't like it or you want to stop or you're just unsure, you can stop and go back to a hand job to finish (or sex), and if you want... try again a little later!
So You Can’t Get Pregnant From Oral Sex… Right? (Sex Ed 101)
Whoever, 22 writes...
Thought you couldn't get pregnant from swallowing semen during oral sex? Well you're wrong... sort of. An article found its' way into my submission box and it's an interesting read! Check it out: Account of a Girl Impregnanted After Oral Sex Shows Sperms' Incredible Survivability
Now, now, ladies... don't go freaking out what's in your stomach and your boyfriend's potent sperm - read the article, first. Unless you plan on getting into a knife fight after a rendevous with your man, I'll be the first to tell you that you've got nothing to worry about!
Thanks to "whoever" submitted the article! Keep the interesting reads coming!
Tags: pregnancy, blow jobs, sperm, oral sex, articles, abc news
He Hurt My Feelings, Now He’s Hurt (Sweet Dreams)
leelove, 18 writes...
So about a year ago I confessed to the guy I liked at the....that I liked him. We went our separate ways and fell out of touch because he didn't like me, and I went off to college. He's had two girlfriends since then, I haven't had any boyfriends. I've seen him once since I've been back home for the summer. Last night I dreamed that he sent me a really long message on Facebook apologizing for the way he rejected me. He apologized profusely for the way he hurt my feelings and the way he just altogether stopped talking to me. He went even further to say that I'm really cute, but I don't remember what that statement led to in the message in this dream. I woke up at about 4, then went back to sleep. When I fell asleep this time I dreamed that I was having sex with him in my house. He was performing oral sex while I just laid there. I remember feeling that I absolutely hated him, which in waking life...I don't. After sex, he attempted to run me over with a truck. He hit me, but I wasn't hurt. To my surprise, he came out of the accident very badly injured. Ideas?Embarr says...
The first dream is likely a reflection of some desire you hold. Even if your feelings have changed for this guy, you could still have a bit of unfinished business with him. Having a dream where he apologizes puts your wish for some kind of closure in your favor more prominently in your thoughts. This desire could be for another similar situation, or it could still be for the situation between you and this guy.
In the second dream it is more likely that the guy in the dream should be looked at more symbolically than literally. Taking a step back from the situation, what's essentially happening is that you are receiving pleasure from something that you absolutely hate. The fact that the figure is this guy may have been a result of your first dream influencing your second dream or he could be another piece of the puzzle. Subconsciously, while you may not hate him, you could be showing more of your hate of rejection. In this case, it would be confusing for you to be recieving pleasure while hating the person/object that you hate in your waking life so it's more likely that while whatever it is, is attempting to please you and give you pleasure it is only getting strong, negatice feelings from you.
The part of the dream where he hits you with a car but comes out injured instead of you could be linked to the first half of the dream. It seems to say that actions against you are hurting the attacker instead, basically. Even as you seem to take blows, it's not you that's going to be hurt in the end. Whether or not this has a connection with the first half of the dream or even the first dream, is up to you to consider. Your dreams could be circling around a single issue, or they could cover a number of issues.
Tags: oral sex, sweet dreams, rejection, dream, guy, injured