Moving In

Relationships After High School (Big Sister)

Lizabeth, 16 writes...

I'm a junior in high school, and I've been thinking about my options after I graduate. Just recently, I decided that I want to move to a city pretty far away from where I currently live (about 9, if you drive), and my boyfriend of nearly 3 years is still undecided about his plans after graduation. I know it's still a year from now until this actually becomes an issue, but every time the subject gets brought up, it's like this unspoken discussion is just hanging between us. We've talked about this a little, but not to the point where we consider moving in together. Honestly, in the area we live in, there aren't many opportunities in the career field he wants to be in. I think maybe him moving with me would be good for him as well? But I know it's his decision in the end. What I was wondering was, is it even worth pursuing this relationship after we graduate? And also, how and when should I bring this living-together issue up? Should I wait until it's closer to graduation? I really love him and care about him, but I'm trying to be mature and realistic about this at the same time. I just can't imagine living without him, and I know I'd feel like I threw away a GREAT relationship if I broke up with him just to keep from risking that happening later down the road. Thanks!

Ivette says...

This is a tricky situation because you've been with your boyfriend since you were around 13-14. I would say explore your options but do not limit yourself and stay in your hometown just because your boyfriend will be. Some people break up after high school and some end up marrying their high school sweet hearts. We can't read into the future and see what will be the fate of your relationship, but try to prioritize what's important in your life at this point. You both are still very young and jumping into "let's move in together!" will be pretty intense even if you've been with him for nearly 3 years. One of you will have to take the decision and start talking about what will happen in the future. This will be an important time to see if you guys are in the same page, and if you see each other together and come up with a plan. Even if things don't work out in the end, you at least tried to. Don't wait until it's closer to graduation, it's better to have a plan now than it to be too late and miss out on certain deadlines. Plan your future, talk to each other, see if you still have certain compatibilities and if things can be adjusted. The more you concretely talk about these issues the better you guys will feel about the whole situation.

Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, college, girl, high school, long distance, boy, plans after graduation, moving in

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