Lesbian
New Relationships (Sex Ed 101)
ImNew@This, 18 writes...
So, never having had a relationship before, I don't really know what to do. The girl I'm dating has had lots of experience and always has to initiate everything, because I don't know what there IS to do. So my questions is this: how can two girls interact romantically? Not going to far as to having sex or anything like that, but what comes after kissing?Brittany says...
Considering I've never been in a relationship with a woman, I'm going to toss this one out to the readers - if you are a woman and have been in a relationship with another woman, care to share your thoughts?
Personally, I'd think a relationship with a woman is the same as having a relationship with a man. You can kiss, you can have oral sex, you can partake in mutual masturbation, and you can have sex. Some people like to think of it in terms of bases, such as you start off as kissing, then first would be going up the shirt, second would be using your hands to pleasure the other person, third would be oral sex, and home would be having actual sex.
It's all up to you and what you're ready for. Talk to your partner and tell her your concerns, I'm sure she'd be more than happy to help you out. I find that most relationships for myself are kind of "go with the flow" and less "oh my God, what comes next!?"
Tags: sex, relationships, kissing, girls, lesbian
I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It? (Sex Ed 101)
Lesbian?, 17 from North Carolina writes...
Last night I was hanging out with one my best friends and on a sudden out of nowhere she kissed me. I kissed her back. The next thing I know we were making out and undressing each other. We ended out have sex. It felt great for the both of us; but afterward we were like what did we just do, OMG! It felt great, but I feel so bad.
1. being gay is against my religion (but I don't have a problem with gays)
2. if my parents find out I will be dead
3. I go to an all girls private school, I could be kicked out
4. my friends will think it is gross
5. what about my boyfriend?
Do I continue with my girl friend and date other girls, or just forget the whole thing?
Brittany says...
Whoa, slow down and relax! Let me start off by saying it's normal to be confused and experiment - you're only 17. I can't tell you how many of my friends experimented in college, but were straight/have boyfriends/discovered it was a one night thing. You're young and crazy, don't sweat the small stuff.
First off, you don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to. That takes care of points 2, 3, 4, and potentially 5. Now, for point 1, if you're really involved in your religion and it's a struggle because after one night, you're convinced you're gay - that's something to take up with a religious authority figure. Most religions have somebody you can talk to, be it a priest, pastor, or rev. and that's something you can talk over with them.
What about your boyfriend? Well, you should tell him because that's a part of a healthy relationship. Secrets only come back and bite you in the ass, especially secrets like this. I'm not sure how he'd react, but you do owe it to him to confess what happened. It'll probably help to talk about it with him, if not, the girl, too.
And as far as what you choose to do after everything, well that's up to you. This doesn't mean you're a lesbian, or bisexual, or straight. In fact, all of those are just labels and I'm not sure if you've heard of it, but there is such thing as a sexual orientation spectrum. Essentially this just means that are more than just 100% hetero/homo/bisexual. If you're interested in the Kinsey Scale, here is a Wikipedia link. You can also search "sexual orientation spectrum" to read a little more about it. But just relax about everything and if you want to experiment with other women, so be it, if you want to just stay with men, that's fine too. Just make sure that you are happy with your choice.
Tags: kissing, boyfriend, sex ed 101, gay, lesbian, heterosexual, bisexual, sexuality spectrum, homosexual, kinsey scale
Same Sex Dreams (Sweet Dreams)
peonyface, 17 writes...
I have recurring dreams of doing sexual stuff with other girls but I'm not a lesbian. What does this mean?Embarr says...
It's actually not that uncommon for same sex dreams to occur, though they do seem odd if the dreamer is not attracted to other girls in their waking life. A dream like this doesn't usually tell you what your sexual orientation is or who you are really interested in, and it's best not to rely on a dream to decide such a thing anyway. They can be tricky to understand and are definitely not the most stable sources.
These types of dreams usually represent intimacy in your life, as sexual activities are intimate actions. The intimacy in your waking life doesn't have to be a sexual attraction since not all intimacy is of a physical nature. There may be a characteristic in the girl(s) you are dreaming about that you admire and wish to have for yourself. The intimate nature of your dream may even suggest that you are becoming intimate with that characteristic already. You may also wish that you could get to know the actual girls in the dream better than you do. In this case, your dream world would seem to be amplifying the interest a little - perhaps to get your attention or because it was just using what was more easily on hand. The meaning depends on knowing more of what happened in the dreams though, and the emotions that came with them. You can think about the dreams' meanings a little more deeply if you want, using the suggestions here to work from. Good luck!
Tags: sex, sweet dreams, girls, lesbian, dreaming