Intercourse

The Basics of Sex (Sex Ed 101)

This article contains content that may not be suitable for minors, or those who are easily offended by content of a sexual nature.

Before we get started, let's talk about condoms. You know, those things made of latex (or polyurethane, or sheepskin)? Each and every time you have sex, you should be using one! Not only do they prevent pregnancy, but also the many sexually transmitted diseases that are out there. For the health of both you and your partner - make sure you use a condom each time you have sex. That being said... let's move onto the good stuff!

The Necessities

Before you have sex, you should be sure to have the necessary things to make it go, well, smoothly. You'll want to have your condoms, and definitely more than one, just in case. Don't forget the lube, because nothing hurts worse than trying to have sex without any lubrication. And always, always, make sure you have a safe place to have sex. I'm sure nobody wants Mom, or Dad, or their siblings coming home at the wrong time. Or your roommates deciding to skip class and come home during your only break of the day.

The Basics

We'll just skip the foreplay and head straight on into the sex. There are a few "basic" positions which everyone should know.

Missionary Position

In the missionary position, the man is on top and both people are facing each other. When people think sex, this is usually the position that comes to mind. The woman lies on her back, with her legs spread just enough for the man to go between them and enter her. He braces his body weight on his hands, elbows, or knees. At this point, the woman can essentially just lay there with her legs spread, wrap them around his body, or bend them, whatever is comfortable. She can use her hands to feel his body, or put her hands on his hips to control the thrusts. The good thing about this position is how it allows the couple to face each other, which makes kissing really easy. However, because of the positioning, it makes it difficult for clitoral stimulation. Also, with the man bearing all of his weight, he can tire very easily.

"Doggy" Style

If you've seen two dogs having sex, that's exactly what this position looks like. The woman faces down on her hands and knees, while the man kneels behind her. One or both partners can thrust to make this position work. It can also be varied a bit, with the woman on the edge of the bed and the man standing on the floor behind her, or the woman on the bed on her stomach. Also, this can be done while spooning on a bed, up against a wall, etc. The possibilities are endless! This tends to be a position a lot of guys like between the view and the feeling of dominance they get from it. This provides easy access to the clitoris for either the woman or man to touch, as well as breasts. The good side of this position is the fact that the penis can hit the G-spot, allowing for a more intense orgasm, as well as the clitoris is easily accessible. It also allows very easy movement of both partners to make the sex as hard as they would like it, plus if you wish, it's easy to switch from vaginal to anal sex. On the downside, however, it can be tiring (but what type of sex isn't?) and some people might not like the fact that you aren't facing your partner.

Cowgirl Position

Cowgirl, also known as the woman on top position is great for the woman to take charge over the bedroom! The man lays on his back, legs together, while the girl straddles him and rides him essentially as though she were on a horse (hence the term cowgirl!) What's great about this is that it allows the woman to control just how far her partner's penis enters her body, as well as the speed of the thrusts. Unfortunately for the man, this position is not for those who like the take part in that area of the bedroom. While laying there, mostly what he can do is use his hands to roam around her body and play with her breasts. The woman can lay flat against the man, or sit up straight - both varieties have their pros and cons. In this position, the man's pubic bone can usually grind against her clitoris for ultimate stimulation, which is a huge plus for the woman! It's also great for kissing and seeing the facial expressions of your partner. Unfortunately, this position can definitely take a toll on the muscles in the woman's legs, especially if they aren't quite as in shape as they could be.

Reverse Cowgirl

Essentially, just the backwards position of Cowgirl, this one can actually be quite the challenge. Basically, the woman still sits on top of the man, with his legs together and he legs on either side of him. It's a little difficult to get the hang of at first, but once you get it under your belt - it's a fantastic ride! The girl leans back and supports her weight with her hands, while the man initiates the thrusts. It's great for the woman, because she is in complete control of the angle and depth of thrusts the entire time. On top of that, the penis is continually hitting that great G-spot area which is essential for G-spot orgasms. Although some people might dislike the lack of face to face contact, this position is definitely worth a try.

Next Time...

For the next part of this article, we will be going a bit more in-depth into the sex positions, including some trickier and more involved ones for those who have already mastered these, or just wish to spice things up even more!

Tags: sex, sex positions, intimacy, intercourse

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Penetration Isn’t Fun (Sex Ed 101)

summerblondie, 17 writes...

Hi!

So I have a new guy and things are really going great with him. Last night we had sex for the first time. While both of us have technically done it one other time before within our previous relationships, neither of us had enjoyment from it. I was nervous because all the other times I had tried to have sex I had to stop because of pain. My new guy and I did it with ease...my only problem is that, it didn't feel bad but it didn't feel good either. A lot of the time I felt like I had to pee and that can be pretty uncomfortable. Obviously, we need to practice because this was our first time, but do you know how I can experience pleasure from penetration?

JamieG says...

In general, pure penetration isn't the most enjoyable part of sex for women. There's absolutely nothing strange about it not feeling particularly good (especially the first few times). If it didn't hurt - to which my response would consist mostly of "relax" and "more lube" - that's something that's mostly going to take trial and error. Try different positions, speeds, rhythms, angles, etc., until you find one that feels good for both of you. And don't be afraid to speak up; if you find something that feels good, ask him to keep doing it (but for his sake, you might want to avoid saying things like "That sucks" or "Wow, do something different please"; egos can be fragile things, especially when it comes to sex). More realistically, what's probably going to help is to try to maintain clitoral stimulation during intercourse. That's where most of your nerve endings are, and where most of the pleasure (as a general rule) is going to come from.

Tags: sex, intercourse, sex ed, first time, pleasure

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