Homosexual
Bullied (Big Sister)
Stright, 17 from USA writes...
This has been going on long enough. For the last seven years now kids pick on me and call me "gay", "fag", etc. So, what if I dress nicer, have manners, don't play or watch sports, in drama club, and hang out with all girls. The last thing (hanging out with girls) I don't get, how does that make me gay? That makes me smart! I also get called fat and ugly. I am a little big, 190 pounds and 5 feet tall. Kids snicker and whisper and talk loudly behind me back, like I can't hear them. Some act like if I touch them or if they sit beside me they get cooties. I get called geek, nerd, etc. because I am smart and don't make very low grades, but when I do mess up and make a low grade they still pick. (getting called geek and nerd doesn't bother me much anymore). All this has been going on since I was in the second grade and I an now in the tenth. I tried EVERYTHING (ignoring, picking back, and tattling) to make them stop, nothing works. Any advice?Ivette says...
I am sorry you have been going through this for so long. Bullying is not right, and you should know that it's not your fault. If you have already exhausted all other possible options when confronting your aggressors it's time to take a bigger step. Thousands of young people get bullied to such degree that they end up committing or attempting suicide, don't be another one! Your best bet is actually telling your parents, I don't know if you have tried, but if your parents complain the school administration is more likely to listen to them than you (why? because they're adults, isn't that unfair?). Either way, you need to get your voice heard, I am sure you're not the only student in your high school getting teased. What they're doing to you is illegal, it's called verbal harassment and if you want to you could also just file a police report against the people that are ganging up on you. This is another way where your school will react as well and will listen to you. Write in a paper or word document all the people that have been involved in your teasing, and the adults that you've notified about the harassment, in case the school questions you, you already have a written statement with a log of names and dates. By doing something about this, you're not only helping yourself but speaking up for the endless number of students that are or will be teased in your high school. You're probably being teased because people are jealous of you. Don't let the lack of confidence from these imbeciles discourage you from being yourself and accomplishing greater things. Stand up and speak up! Good luck and I wish you the best!Tags: advice, big sister, parents, high school, girl, boy, gay, harassment, homosexual, bullied
I Kissed a Girl and I Liked It? (Sex Ed 101)
Lesbian?, 17 from North Carolina writes...
Last night I was hanging out with one my best friends and on a sudden out of nowhere she kissed me. I kissed her back. The next thing I know we were making out and undressing each other. We ended out have sex. It felt great for the both of us; but afterward we were like what did we just do, OMG! It felt great, but I feel so bad.
1. being gay is against my religion (but I don't have a problem with gays)
2. if my parents find out I will be dead
3. I go to an all girls private school, I could be kicked out
4. my friends will think it is gross
5. what about my boyfriend?
Do I continue with my girl friend and date other girls, or just forget the whole thing?
Brittany says...
Whoa, slow down and relax! Let me start off by saying it's normal to be confused and experiment - you're only 17. I can't tell you how many of my friends experimented in college, but were straight/have boyfriends/discovered it was a one night thing. You're young and crazy, don't sweat the small stuff.
First off, you don't need to tell anyone if you don't want to. That takes care of points 2, 3, 4, and potentially 5. Now, for point 1, if you're really involved in your religion and it's a struggle because after one night, you're convinced you're gay - that's something to take up with a religious authority figure. Most religions have somebody you can talk to, be it a priest, pastor, or rev. and that's something you can talk over with them.
What about your boyfriend? Well, you should tell him because that's a part of a healthy relationship. Secrets only come back and bite you in the ass, especially secrets like this. I'm not sure how he'd react, but you do owe it to him to confess what happened. It'll probably help to talk about it with him, if not, the girl, too.
And as far as what you choose to do after everything, well that's up to you. This doesn't mean you're a lesbian, or bisexual, or straight. In fact, all of those are just labels and I'm not sure if you've heard of it, but there is such thing as a sexual orientation spectrum. Essentially this just means that are more than just 100% hetero/homo/bisexual. If you're interested in the Kinsey Scale, here is a Wikipedia link. You can also search "sexual orientation spectrum" to read a little more about it. But just relax about everything and if you want to experiment with other women, so be it, if you want to just stay with men, that's fine too. Just make sure that you are happy with your choice.
Tags: kissing, boyfriend, sex ed 101, gay, lesbian, heterosexual, sexuality spectrum, bisexual, homosexual, kinsey scale