Hiding Feelings
Pushing [You] Away (Ask A Guy)
TSP, 17 from Florida writes...
Hi, Daniel. I've been reading your column for ages now and you give some really helpful advice, so I'm hoping you'll help me with this sort-of-riddle a guy has given me.
He says the best way to drive him crazy (in the good way) is to push him away. The catches are: he doesn't get jealous and if I simply avoid him, he'll just avoid me, too.
I am sure there is some loophole I'm missing because I always seem to over-complicate these things - is there anything you can tell me? It will be much appreciated! Thanks.
Daniel says...
If you're familiar with fishing at all, it will help your approach to this situation. When you are reeling in the big catch, fishing is a give-and-take endeavor. When you have a large fish on your line, the catch can be a long, exhausting effort. But it largely breaks down into two very simply steps. First, you pull on the line and bring the fish closer to you. Then, you let your rod fall away from you, moving closer to the fish and giving you a few moments in which there is extra slack on the line. During those moments, you reel in the line. Then you repeat the exercise. Sometimes this will only allow you to reel in a few inches at a time before the fish manages to re-tighten the line. But it still allow you to make slow, steady progress.
What you want to do is behave in such a way that he is drawn in by your politeness and flirtatiousness. Then, when he gets close to you, be a little standoffish or indifferent to his behavior. As you say, if you ignore him, he will ignore you and he won't get jealous if you talk to another guy. So the key is to be friendly to him, draw him in with that politeness, and then push him away by being somewhat indifferent. As he indicates, this will drive him wild and bring him even closer to you.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, flirting, hiding feelings, winning guys over