Feelings For Friends
When It Comes To Progress, “Any Time” Is Good (Ask A Guy)
Kim, 20 from New York writes...
I'm having trouble deciding if one of my guy friends has feelings for me. He is my closest guy friend. We go to the same college but come from different states. Since school has been out we've talked everyday either by texting or instant messaging. He says sweet things about missing me and wanting to visit and once, when he was drunk, he said, "I like you a lot, Kim," and then quickly added that he meant friends. He just says all this really sweet stuff. I'd be fine with waiting until school starts again to figure this out but I'm studying abroad and won't be back until December. I've liked him for a few months and I'm not sure if I should talk to him or wait until I'm back in the U.S., or if its even worth it talking to him about it. Thanks!
Daniel says...
Obviously, progress made while in close proximity is a good thing, but you should consider your current situation a long-distance relationship. The fact that you are in separate states now and won't be back in close proximity until the start of spring semester (in January) means you will have to think about pursuing things from within your current bounds. If you don't pursue anything until January (six months or more), you will obviously run the risk of him deciding to pursue something with someone else.
My advice is to step up the pressure a bit. Flirt a little more and perhaps see if the two of you can visit one another before you leave for your study abroad experience. It sounds as though this guy likes you and is just scared to admit it. His fear could be due to your distance and the amount of time the two of you will be apart or it could be a number of other reasons. But if you keep yourself on his mind and show him that you are a desirable partner, eventually your flirting will develop to a point where a more in-depth conversation about your future would seem logical. You'll know when that time is right.
This article was originally posted by Daniel in June 2009.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, flirting, feelings for friends