Family Feuds
Family Nightmare (Big Sister)
Janet, 19 writes...
Sorry if this is kind of long but I need some advice. My aunt is a hairdresser and has her own business. Well, during the summer I went to get my hair dyed as my debs were coming up in a week. I had made an appointment but when I arrived she told me she thought I wasn't coming until next week. She was busy at the time and told me to come back in about an hour. I left my overnight bag behind her desk as I stay at my gran's during the summer while I work. I went shopping for shoes for the debs and when I came back and she still was not ready for me. So after a bit she washed and put the colour in my hair, at this time it was only the two of us in the place. So while the colour was setting in my hair my aunt said she would run to the bank while I was there, but just before she left she asked me if I had change for eighty euros, I told her I hadn't but she insisted I looked in my purse anyways. I did this and I didn't have it as I said. She then told me to look in a certain pocket in my bag, where I had about seventy euros, I had forgotten about it since I had kept it for buying my shoes. She asked me whose it was and that she was missing money, and then asked if it was hers. Of course it wasn't hers, so when I told her this she started to apologize. While she washed the colour out of my hair she kept complimenting me and asking if I though she was accusing me of stealing from her. Of course I did but I just said I didn't to keep things calm. Anyways after washing my hair she cut it a little, straighten my hair and messed up my fringe. She then charged me fifty euros. I didn't know if I was going to tell my mother about what happened because she and my aunt (her sister) have had a rocky relationship since I can remember. I went to work for the next five days and by the time I got home I had completely forgotten about it, as I had my debs (which I was really disappointed). Now a few weeks ago (four weeks later) out of the blue I got a text from my aunt saying "don't ever pull that on me or anyone else again I am still very upset, and never said anything to your mam or dad about it. I would never upset them that way". As this point I went to tell mam straight away, where dad lost it completely with my aunt. She kept trying to call mam but she refused to talk to her. I then got another text from her saying "that's not fair, you knew about this, its no big deal but not having my only sister not wanting to talk to me is thanks". At some point while I was out mum did talk to my aunt where she told her she seen me take the money, she also said she didn't cut any of my hair (which she did) and also said she only charged me thirty euros. Now mum has a reason not to believe me, which she has told me, she feels she's in the middle of it all. She hasn't spoken to my aunt since and, even though I didn't do anything wrong (apart from not saying about it in the first place), I feel it's my fault. I can't get the whole thing out of my head, its driving me crazy. I'm afraid to walk past her place on my own or fear I'll meet her in town and she'll attack me or something! I'm so down over it and afraid of other family members finding out and thinking I'm in the wrong.
Ivette says...
I would just like to remind you that you didn't do anything wrong. Your aunt is pretty messed up to accuse you and then take it back and then accuse you again. There is also a reason why your mom and her don't have a good relationship (maybe she has exhibited the same kind of behavior before). Don't bring yourself down, you didn't do anything! If someone finds out and asks you about it, you should tell them that your aunt accused you of something you didn't do. There are many ways to question her story. Why would you be there if she wasn't going to cut you're hair? If she saw you get the money, why wouldn't she tried to get it back? There is so much you can do when walking by your aunt's shop. I would try not to go back with her to get your hair fixed, and if you do, to get a receipt every time you do. If you're still feeling uncomfortable about it, talk to your parents. Tell them that you feel guilty about something you didn't do. You can also talk to them about what happened and that you're scared of getting attacked by her (I honestly would). Maybe they can help you feel better and clarify any other kind of misunderstanding. If things don't improve with your aunt's behavior (like her texts or threats), I would go to the police station just to file a report. This way your aunt won't be able to file a report on you first, and you have the upper hand if it comes to the law getting involved. Hopefully, everything will be forgotten and next time be sure to go with a different stylist!Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, parents, problems, family feuds, hair style disasters, psychotic aunts, liars