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Execute The Ex Thoughts! (Crush Zone)
You're sitting at home watching repeat shows of Friends with a box of chocolates on your knee wondering how you will ever get over him, whether you will actually be able to find love again. Well with these tips, you can start forgetting all about your ex and start to enjoy being single !1. Remove The Scent
The first thing to do is remove anything of his or anything he gave you from your surroundings. I don't care whether the necklace is real Gold and is really pretty and special - he gave it to you therefore you holding onto it will be like holding onto the past or that sick-smelling blanket you used to be inseperable with as a baby - let it go. As the saying goes, out of sight - out of mind.2. Responsive Responsibility
Whatever either of you has done, whoever has broke up with who - make sure you keep on even terms with your ex. It will help you both to get over eachother if you don't argue and refuse to speak to eachother. You don't have to organize elaborate dinners - just be polite, say hello when you see him and act neutral. If you can at least try to act like friends towards eachother, it will push the thought of your romantic relationship away.3. Social Scene
Getting out with your friends is a great distraction and a great oppurtunity to forget the situation and let loose ! Even if you don't feel like it - going out for a couple of hours will help clear your head and you will find that your pals will be supportive, try to cheer you up and encourage you to let your hair down and have FUN without him !4. Hitch up them knees ! Higher ! HIGHER !
You may or may not believe it, but getting out for an hour or so every day and getting yourself moving can lighten your mood ! Excercise releases endorphins which can block sensations of pain and produce overall feelings of euphoria. Hang on, not only are you becoming more happy, you're also becoming more fit ! And plus, a more toner body means more attraction to more guys . . . . .5. Grading
Evaluate yourself and your behaviour throughout the relationship. DON'T think about his actions and what he did - concentrate on what your character was like. If you can pick out flaws and find things you think you handled well, this can then help you to develop yourself as a person. You can learn from your mistakes and then in your next relationship, you may have a better idea of what to do in each situation. If you are happy that you did all you could , focus on the positives and tell yourself that if you done your best, that's all you can do.Crushing on a Best Friend’s Ex (Big Sister)
000, 13 writes...
My big sister is away at college and I need help! My best friend (we'll call her Jill) was dating this guy (who we'll call Jack). They broke up over the summer and now they don't see each other at all during the day. I however have several classes with Jack and I'm developing a crush on him and I'm pretty sure he likes me too. He flirts with me constantly and everybody asks us if we're dating. I would love to be able to say yes to that question, but Jill told me today that she still likes Jack. What should I do?amanda says...
That's definitely a tricky situation. Think about if the roles were reversed and how you would feel if you were Jill. Especially since she still likes him. Sometimes friendships are more important than boys. If you and Jack start dating, your friendship with Jill will never be the same. I know you can't control who you like, but are you sure that Jack is completely over Jill? It would be weird if he still had feelings for her (like she has for him). Take things slow and if he asks you, tell him the truth. You can say that you think he's nice but it's too soon after he was with Jill to be officially dating. It will be hard, but that's what true friends are.Tags: dating, boyfriend, ex, bestfriend
Getting Over An Ex (Big Sister)
anonymous, 24 writes...
Hi, I wrote to you a while ago about my ex boyfriend who I said was a 'mummy's boy' and we were in a long distance relationship and he wanted space, etc and I wanted to know what to do. Anyway, we broke up over a month ago. He said he didn't know if he wanted a relationship and I gave him a little bit of time to think about it and turns out he didn't. I was devastated. He was my everything and I still feel so incredibly lost without him. Recently I accidentally texted him. I have a particular health problem and was suffering with anxiety because of it and I texted my friend saying I needed someone to talk to because I wasn't feeling great. I ended up sending the message accidentally to my ex. He was a huge part of my life and I still have his number on my phone but I'd never contacted him until now and I swear it was a pure accident - their names are right next to each other on my phone. My ex got back to me before my friend did and said he'd be happy to talk. My friend never got back to me until the next day and I don't have any friends who live nearby that I can talk to/visit. All of my friends live far away and are on different time zones to me so it's difficult trying to find moral support. I can't turn to any relatives because I am not close to any of them and I do not want to turn to my mother all the time because I don't feel it's fair to burden her with my problems all the time. My dad passed away a few years ago and my only brother is mentally disabled. Counseling is not an option at the moment because I simply have too much going on in my life to fit it in. Please try to understand that, I'm not making excuses. My mum is supportive, but no, I can not do that to her. I won't. We talked for hours. He made me feel better and he said he'd be happy to talk again if I needed to. Then of course the conversation got on to his reasons for breaking up with me. In one of his reasons he said he asked himself if he could see himself marrying me or having children with me and the answer was no. He said leaving me was the hardest decision he ever made but he didn't want to waste both our time. He said he still had feelings for me and that maybe one day he'd regret it. I dunno if that was just to try and make me feel better (I asked for him to tell me his reasons and explain what happened). The marrying comment really crushed me. Unfortunately I am still hoping that he is going to change his mind one day. He was the love of my life and I just don't know what to do. We are going to remain friends when the time is right but it won't be for a while I imagine. I do feel like he is giving me mixed signals again like when we were together but I really can't help but wonder what is going through his head. Am I just being stupid?Ivette says...
Break ups are hard for anyone, especially when the relationship was serious to the point of thoughts about marriage, kids, etc. Although your relationship ended, you have to understand that your life hasn't. It is hard to adjust, sure, but you will get over it. A month after a break up is too soon yet. You need to take time for yourself and know that the cut still needs to heal. I really recommended you to abstain from contacting your ex, this would only cause for the wounds to re-open. The best medicine for a break up is time, you need to also find a form of distraction so you don't just think about him or your relationship. Try picking up a new hobby, catch up on your favorite TV show, look into drawing, painting, reading a new book, anything that can help you waste those extra hours of the day. If you have to, delete his number, email, IM, anything that may trigger you to talk to him. Out of sight, out of mind don't you think? If you contact him it's very possible that the subject of why you guys broke up will resurface again and again, meaning you will get hurt once again. Another thing you can have is hope that someone better than him is out there for you. Don't stress over losing "the love of your life". I am sure it's quite difficult to wake up each day knowing that the person you emotionally invested so much time and energy on isn't with you anymore. Try to stay positive. If things didn't work with your ex-boyfriend maybe it just wasn't mean to be. Maybe you will find someone ten times better overall. You never know, if you're destined to be together fate will bring you guys back, but for now have fun. Don't spend half your day expecting him to come back or anything like that, just relax and let time pass by. Good luck and you'll see how things will work out fine, trust me!Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, break up, life, drama, ex
Can an Ex Become a Friend? Pt. 2 (Big Sister)
anonymous, 20 writes...
My ex and I met a couple of months ago through friends. When we first met, we had decided that we were going to take things slow and see how it went. We started talking a lot, on a daily basis and we got to know a lot about each other. He told me about his past, including his past relationships, previous mistakes he had made, and we often talked about what he wanted to do in the future with his career and other goals he had in life. I told him about my past relationships as well, and I let him into my life a lot more than I had let anyone else in. There was something about him that made me open up a lot more than I would have with anyone else, and I found myself telling him about how I had been sexually assaulted by my ex boyfriend of seven years, and how he had cheated on me with my friend. We started dating and he introduced me to his mom, his best friends and would call me everyday though he constantly worked and was busy the majority of the time. He would come home late at night and take out the time to call me and see if things were fine. We didn't see each other much because we were busy with work and other priorities but we would try to spend time together as much as we could. He would call during his lunch or his breaks just to check up and and say hi. During that time period, I heard rumors of him still being in touch with his ex girlfriend and when I asked him about it he told me that he hadn't talked to her at all, and that I shouldn't listen to other people. His ex and I have a lot of mutual friends, and I ended up talking to her one day and she told me about how he HAD been in touch with her, and she showed me text messages/phone calls and emails that he had send her. He had even asked her to get back with him. When I called him again, he denied it at first, and I hung up. A few days later, he called me and told me the truth about the situation. Somehow we got past that, and we started dating again. Our relationship was a roller coaster ride, one minute things would be fine another minute it would all go downhill. Every time we would argue, he would want to break up, and he couldn't deal with the "mood swings" I had when I was with him. I had recently found out that I had a cyst in my ovaries and because it was too large I would have had to get it removed because it could be potentially cancerous. Obviously that meant that I could not have kids, and for someone that works in the field of being around children all the time it was a hard thing to hear. He claimed that it wasn't important and that there were so many other options that I shouldn't be upset about it. Last week his ex got in touch with him again, because she wanted to "forgive" him for things that had happened in the past. She told him about things I had said about him, I had been angry at the time and had said harsh things because the situation had reminded me of the past. He got mad at things I had said, and told me that it showed a lot about my character and that he couldn't be with somebody like that. I'm just confused. He still talks to me and says that he isn't "willing" to try to work things out but when we talk thing see the same. Should I just stop talking to him?Ivette says...
This is similar to the idea if can an ex be a friend. In this situation, your feelings were hurt, his feelings were hurt, therefore it will be hard to let go of the notion of the past and move on towards having a normal friendship with him. It really depends what you want out of him. It seems like you still like him and I'm sorry to say this but you guys won't go back together. If you need to get over him, yes, by all means stop talking to him. Don't put yourself through mixed signals and false hope. If you are still willing to have him in your life as only a friend, sure you can, but not now. Right now you're no way capable of dealing with this kind of drama. Focus on your health, and on getting better, surround yourself with friends and family members that will support you through this hard time. Forget about this guy, he didn't have the best interest in mind for your relationship if he was trying to get back with his ex-girlfriend. Don't let his manipulative ways turn things against you, you had ever right to bad mouth him when you find out he was lying and emotionally cheating on you with his ex girlfriend. On the last note, never trust the ex girlfriend of a current boyfriend, they're likely stab you in the back like his did by telling him things he shouldn't have heard.Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, life, guys, ex, friendship, girls, relationship problems, can an ex be a friend
My Best Friend Likes My Ex! (Big Sister)
My boyfriend and I broke up a few days ago. I broke up with him, not because I didn't like him anymore; it's just our relationship was bad. He kept pushing & pushing me away. Also he would flirt a lot with my girl friends and pick them over me. I did try talking to him about it but it didn't change anything. Finally I got hurt too many times and couldn't take it anymore so I ended it. We were best friends before, and now we don't even look at each other. That's actually kind of alright with me, because I don't want to be around him right now. I liked him a lot & I'm trying to get over him. Well the problem is, my best friend likes him now. I told her I don't mind and if it makes her happy, it's fine (she's not allowed to date). I meant what I said to her, her liking him doesn't bother me, but if he were to like her, it would kill me. I just want to be a good friend to her but it's hard. And I know he won't like her back, okay, that could change but he told me he didn't think of her that way. I don't want her getting hurt; guys always hurt her nowadays, she cries a lot. I just don't know what to do.Ivette says...
I think the best thing you could do is to tell her how you feel. Tell her that you do actually have a problem and as much as you want to be her friend and support her, you can't be by her side if she dates your ex. You probably said to her that you didn't have a problem because you don't think that she will ever date him, but what happens if she does? What if her parents allowed her to date and your ex liked her? You wouldn't feel much confident backing her up. So your best bet is to actually sit down and talk to her, and tell her how you truly feel. This way she will be able to make a decision and not let her feelings escalate even more.Tags: advice, big sister, dating, high school, drama, ex, best friend, bff, boy friend, ex bf