Drama
Drama (Big Sister)
xbreathe., 14 writes...
So I just moved to a new city over the summer to live with my dad. And I started hanging out with these four guys that lived in my neighborhood. We'll call them James, Christopher, Colton, and Cade. James asked me out a few days after I met them and I said no, because I don't really like him like that. So he said we could still be friends and everything, but I felt really bad. So a few weeks after that, I started dating Cade. Then James, Christopher, and Colton told me a bunch of bad stuff about him, so I was going to break up with him the next time we talked. So that night, me, James, Christopher, and Colton got really drunk. I ended up making out with Colton and giving Christopher and James blowjobs. I know, it was horrible. So we were all best friends after that. And then, me and Christopher got in a huge fight one day and didn't make up for a few days. They kept making me mad, so everyone was mad, and it was just a huge mess. And then Colton started hanging out more with his other friend, we'll call him Cameron. I used to know Cameron a few years ago, and I had a huge crush on him then, and of course one developed. I didn't try to get with him or anything though, because he had a girlfriend at the time. But then, him and his girlfriend (they dated for a year) broke up and she started dating another guy. So one day, me and Cameron ended up texting and he wanted to know who I liked, so I told him it was him. That afternoon, after school, we ended up hooking up. And then the day after that, we did too. And then that weekend he had to go somewhere, and when he came back he asked me out. And I was ecstatic. Like, you have no idea. Well, I ended up almost getting drug tested, and it was another huge mess, and my parents were being psycho, and he stuck by me through everything. And then that weekend was homecoming. We hadn't even been dating for a week, but I ended up losing my virginity to him that night. And then for two weeks everything was perfect, and then one day he broke up with me. I don't even want to talk about that, so we'll skip ahead a few days. James and Christopher hated me, and I still don't know why. But whatever. Cameron still wanted to talk to me, but I was just so..I couldn't even look at him without just completely breaking down. And then, he had a new girlfriend. I was so upset, I don't even remember the days after I found out. And then one day, Colton (who had been there for me through all of this) messaged me on myspace out of the blue bitching me out for calling Cameron's new girlfriend a slut. And I didn't. So then him and Cameron and Colton's sister called me and bitched at me, and Colton said he was never gonna talk to me again. And then a few days later, I discovered that everyone is calling me a slut (which I suppose is well-earned) and a crackhead, which I suppose is logical since I did do a lot of drugs. I don't smoke crack though, so I don't know where they got that from. And I really just don't know what to do. I lost my best friends, my sister hates me, I don't know what to do, I can't stop doing drugs, I practically can't even function sober. I can't stop cutting and I can't do anything right and I just want to rewind and never even talk to Cameron, because I am so in love with him and I can't deal with it, and I need him back, I can't live without him. He was so perfect and I don't know what I'm supposed to do without him always being there for me no matter what. And everyone at school hates me and I just don't know how to deal with this. Please just tell me what to do.Ivette says...
I would certainly start by writing a letter to the government and insisting them to invest in time travel research. Now, I will be realistic and take this unreal situation into account and try my best to sort things out for you. These are the facts: you built up that reputation, now you have to clean it up. First, we will start with your friends. Those boys don't seem like a nice bunch of friends to be hanging out with, if you want your self-destructive behavior to subside you need to get rid of those around you that aren't in it for you. Fake friends are always a hassle so don't bother with them, these boys seem to be using you as a little doll to play with instead of a person. Second, your ex-boyfriend. He's your ex-boyfriend for a reason. Sure, he may have made the decision to break up with you but maybe in reality it would have been better for you. He obviously moved on and you should have too, the second you saw him dating a new girl. Lastly, you have to change your ways. Find a doctor and I am sure he would gladly referred you to a clinic where they could help you psychologically, emotionally and physically. Cutting and doing drugs are not going to get you anywhere, even if you think it's making you feel better, in the long run it won't. If you do this, you will be able to gain your dignity, self-esteem and respect back. It certainly won't be easy, but in order to get better you need to help yourself.Tags: sex, advice, big sister, drama, being used, go back in time, you really screwed up, drugs, low self-esteem
Getting Over An Ex (Big Sister)
anonymous, 24 writes...
Hi, I wrote to you a while ago about my ex boyfriend who I said was a 'mummy's boy' and we were in a long distance relationship and he wanted space, etc and I wanted to know what to do. Anyway, we broke up over a month ago. He said he didn't know if he wanted a relationship and I gave him a little bit of time to think about it and turns out he didn't. I was devastated. He was my everything and I still feel so incredibly lost without him. Recently I accidentally texted him. I have a particular health problem and was suffering with anxiety because of it and I texted my friend saying I needed someone to talk to because I wasn't feeling great. I ended up sending the message accidentally to my ex. He was a huge part of my life and I still have his number on my phone but I'd never contacted him until now and I swear it was a pure accident - their names are right next to each other on my phone. My ex got back to me before my friend did and said he'd be happy to talk. My friend never got back to me until the next day and I don't have any friends who live nearby that I can talk to/visit. All of my friends live far away and are on different time zones to me so it's difficult trying to find moral support. I can't turn to any relatives because I am not close to any of them and I do not want to turn to my mother all the time because I don't feel it's fair to burden her with my problems all the time. My dad passed away a few years ago and my only brother is mentally disabled. Counseling is not an option at the moment because I simply have too much going on in my life to fit it in. Please try to understand that, I'm not making excuses. My mum is supportive, but no, I can not do that to her. I won't. We talked for hours. He made me feel better and he said he'd be happy to talk again if I needed to. Then of course the conversation got on to his reasons for breaking up with me. In one of his reasons he said he asked himself if he could see himself marrying me or having children with me and the answer was no. He said leaving me was the hardest decision he ever made but he didn't want to waste both our time. He said he still had feelings for me and that maybe one day he'd regret it. I dunno if that was just to try and make me feel better (I asked for him to tell me his reasons and explain what happened). The marrying comment really crushed me. Unfortunately I am still hoping that he is going to change his mind one day. He was the love of my life and I just don't know what to do. We are going to remain friends when the time is right but it won't be for a while I imagine. I do feel like he is giving me mixed signals again like when we were together but I really can't help but wonder what is going through his head. Am I just being stupid?Ivette says...
Break ups are hard for anyone, especially when the relationship was serious to the point of thoughts about marriage, kids, etc. Although your relationship ended, you have to understand that your life hasn't. It is hard to adjust, sure, but you will get over it. A month after a break up is too soon yet. You need to take time for yourself and know that the cut still needs to heal. I really recommended you to abstain from contacting your ex, this would only cause for the wounds to re-open. The best medicine for a break up is time, you need to also find a form of distraction so you don't just think about him or your relationship. Try picking up a new hobby, catch up on your favorite TV show, look into drawing, painting, reading a new book, anything that can help you waste those extra hours of the day. If you have to, delete his number, email, IM, anything that may trigger you to talk to him. Out of sight, out of mind don't you think? If you contact him it's very possible that the subject of why you guys broke up will resurface again and again, meaning you will get hurt once again. Another thing you can have is hope that someone better than him is out there for you. Don't stress over losing "the love of your life". I am sure it's quite difficult to wake up each day knowing that the person you emotionally invested so much time and energy on isn't with you anymore. Try to stay positive. If things didn't work with your ex-boyfriend maybe it just wasn't mean to be. Maybe you will find someone ten times better overall. You never know, if you're destined to be together fate will bring you guys back, but for now have fun. Don't spend half your day expecting him to come back or anything like that, just relax and let time pass by. Good luck and you'll see how things will work out fine, trust me!Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, life, break up, drama, ex
Following Your Dream (Big Sister)
Esther, 17 writes...
I'm really having a tough time convincing my parents to let me go to the college program of my choice. I want to act and I have loved being in drama classes all throughout high-school. My parents have supported me and come to watch all of my performances. now, suddenly, when I want to pursue this more seriously they are telling me things like "You can't just to acting" and 'You can do it on the side" but they won't let me focus on my art in school. This saddens me. I want to pursue my passion but they are preventing me from doing so. They said they won't help pay for my school at all if I go into acting. I don't have enough money to pay for it myself! I really just do not know what to do...amanda says...
There are a lot of people that I know who had a similar problem. One of my friends specifically wanted to pursue post-secondary schooling in music and her parents were not pleased at all. She ended up applying anyway and making it in to a very prestigious program. At that point, her parents felt like they couldn't tell her no. So that is one option. Apply anyway and hope your parents realize how important this is to you. Another option is telling your parents you will look into getting a loan. I know where I live, you need a parent to co-sign on loans if you do not work full time. Ask them if they would be willing to do that. Just by asking them they will hopefully realize how serious you are and maybe they will reconsider. Honestly, I think you should follow your passion no matter what. Every student I know who is not in the program of their choice find it hard to go to class and do well. it's because their heart is not there. Talk to your parents about this. If they spend their money on another program, it will be a waste of their money and your time since you will always focus more on your acting. If you can get your drama teacher to even talk to them about how intense drama programs can be and what you can do with it once you've graduated. Hopefully they will understand.Golden Globes 2010 (Scandalicious)
Did you miss the Golden Globes this year? The award ceremony aired on January 17th. I'm here to catch you up in case you didn't see all the nominees and winners! Winners are in bold.
Do you agree with the choices, or do you think that another nominee should have won? LET ME KNOW using the submission form at the bottom of the page or by commenting on this article.
Best Motion Picture, Comedy or Musical
'(500) Days of Summer'
*'The Hangover'
'It's Complicated'
'Julie & Julia'
'Nine'
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Comedy
Matt Damon - 'The Informant!'
Daniel Day-Lewis - 'Nine'
*Robert Downey, Jr. - 'Sherlock Holmes'
Joseph Gordon-Levitt - '(500) Days of Summer'
Michael Stuhlbarg - 'A Serious Man'
Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Comedy
Sandra Bullock - 'The Proposal'
Marion Cotillard - 'Nine'
Julia Roberts - 'Duplicity'
Meryl Streep - 'It's Complicated'
*Meryl Streep - 'Julie and Julia'
Best Director - Motion Picture
Kathryn Bigelow - 'The Hurt Locker'
*James Cameron - 'Avatar'
Clint Eastwood - 'Invictus'
Jason Reitman - 'Up in the Air'
Quentin Tarantino - 'Inglourious Basterds'
Best Supporting Actress in a Motion Picture
Penelope Cruz - 'Nine'
Vera Farmiga - 'Up in the Air'
Anna Kendrick - 'Up in the Air'
*Mo'Nique - 'Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire'
Julianne Moore - 'A Single Man'
Best Supporting Actor in a Motion Picture
Matt Damon - 'Invictus'
Woody Harrelson - 'The Messenger'
Christopher Plummer - 'The Last Station'
Stanley Tucci - 'The Lovely Bones'
*Christoph Waltz - 'Inglourious Basterds'
Best Motion Picture, Drama
*'Avatar'
'The Hurt Locker'
'Inglourious Basterds'
'Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire'
'Up in the Air'
Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Drama
*Jeff Bridges - 'Crazy Heart'
George Clooney - 'Up in the Air'
Colin Firth - 'A Single Man'
Morgan Freeman - 'Invictus'
Tobey Maguire - 'Brothers'
Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Drama
Emily Blunt - 'The Young Victoria'
*Sandra Bullock - 'The Blind Side'
Helen Mirren - 'The Last Station'
Carey Mulligan - 'An Education'
Gabourey Sidibe - 'Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire'
Best Television Series, Comedy or Musical
'30 Rock'
'Entourage'
*'Glee'
'Modern Family'
'The Office'
Best Actor in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical
*Alec Baldwin - '30 Rock'
Steve Carell - 'The Office'
Thomas Jane - 'Hung'
David Duchovny - 'Californication'
Matthew Morrison - 'Glee'
Best Actress in a Television Series, Comedy or Musical
*Toni Collette - 'United States of Tara'
Courteney Cox - 'Cougar Town'
Tina Fey - '30 Rock'
Edie Falco - 'Nurse Jackie'
Lea Michele - 'Glee'
Best Foreign Film
'A Prophet'
*'The White Ribbon'
'The Maid'
'Baaria'
Best Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
*'Grey Gardens'
'Into the Storm'
'Little Dorrit'
'Taking Chance'
'Georgia O'Keeffe'
Best Actor in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
*Kevin Bacon - 'Taking Chance'
Kenneth Branagh - 'Wallander: One Step Behind'
Chiwetel Ejiofor - 'Endgame'
Brendan Gleeson - 'Into the Storm'
Jeremy Irons - 'Georgia O'Keeffe'
Best Supporting Actor in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Neil Patrick Harris - 'How I Met Your Mother'
Michael Emerson - 'Lost'
Jeremy Piven - 'Entourage'
William Hurt - 'Damages'
*John Lithgow - 'Dexter'
Best Actress in a Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Joan Allen - 'Georgia O'Keeffe'
*Drew Barrymore - 'Grey Gardens'
Jessica Lange - 'Grey Gardens'
Anna Paquin - 'The Courageous Heart of Irena Sendler'
Sigourney Weaver - 'Prayers for Bobby'
Best Supporting Actress in a Series, Miniseries or Motion Picture Made for Television
Jane Adams - 'Hung'
Rose Byrne - 'Damages'
Jane Lynch - 'Glee'
Janet McTeer - 'Into the Storm'
*Chloe Sevigny - 'Big Love'
Best Animated Feature Film
'Coraline'
'Fantastic Mr. Fox'
'Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs'
'The Princess and the Frog'
*'Up'
Best Television Series, Drama
'Big Love'
'Dexter'
'House'
*'Mad Men'
'True Blood'
Best Actor in a Television Series, Drama
Simon Baker - 'The Mentalist'
*Michael C. Hall - 'Dexter'
Jon Hamm - 'Mad Men'
Hugh Laurie - 'House'
Bill Paxton - 'Big Love'
Best Actress in a Television Series, Drama
*Julianna Marguiles - 'The Good Wife'
Glenn Close - Damages'
January Jones - 'Mad Men'
Anna Paquin - 'True Blood'
Kyra Sedgwick - 'The Closer'
Best Screenplay - Motion Picture
'The Hurt Locker' - Mark Boal
'District 9' ' Neill Blomkamp, Terri Tatchell
'Inglourious Basterds' - Quentin Tarantino
'It's Complicated' - Nancy Meyers
*'Up in the Air' - Jason Reitman, Sheldon Turner
I got my information here. To go to the offical website for the Golden Glove Awards, click here.
Tags: drama, best foreign film, golden globes, best television series, best actress, best actor, comedy or musical, best motion picture
Do Second Chances Really Never Work? (Ask A Guy)
lalalalala, 15 writes...
Hi Daniel,
I just read your reply to leah about how second chances never really work, and my mind went off on one of those "but what about..." tangents.
About a year ago, I went out with this boy. We got together on a camp and it was one of those incredibly awkward mutual first relationships. I'm about nine months older than him, but two school years ahead because I skipped a grade. At the time, I had a lot to deal with as I had just been moved ahead a grade, and I had also just had my head messed with by a guy I had liked for about a year. I had also spent a lot of time with a guy who lives overseas; I was completely convinced I was in love with him (tut, tut).
I feel like this past boyfriend and I got together pretty impulsively, and after a month I broke up with him because I didn't feel comfortable in the relationship and I don't think he did either. I felt like I had all the control, and he just kind of followed me around. I also felt that the maturity gap was quite big (I see now that I was just being egotistical, because I can't label a lot of the stupid things I did last year as 'mature'.). I know now that it wasn't really maturity, but stuff that I was trying to deal with that he couldn't understand.
Over the course of last year we actually became really good friends and we both changed a lot. I became less melodramatic and self-righteous as I developed a genuine respect for myself and stopped taking things so seriously (and stopped depending so much on romantic relationships) and he became a lot crazier and more outgoing. These days we have a much better friendship - and a lot more in common. Over the Christmas holidays I got this huge crush on him again, and then didn't see him for a month, and when I did, after we'd hung out for a few days I impulsively blurted out that I liked him...again. He had to go immediately and could only reply a week later, when he told me in very unsympathetic and insensitive terms that his hormones simply weren't attracted to me in that way.
He said we could go out again but he could see it going nowhere and that I was difficult to date because I always have problems that I'm stressing about. He walked away and I started crying, but I was so shocked that he could suddenly be such a jerk that I got over him almost immediately. I can understand his frustration at me, though. I break up with him and then suddenly decide NO! I like you again! He must be thinking, beeaaatch, pleeeeaaz! The thing that's a bit...weird is that we were suddenly really close again a week after he hurt me.
He's a bit of an odd friend. He's pretty touchy-feely and flirty. If you're one of his chick friends for five minutes you're suddenly convinced that there's at least something vague between you (I know a lot of his other chick-friends well). The thing is, I'm the only proper girlfriend he's ever had, even if we went out a year ago. For some reason, I thought he'd treat me at least slightly differently where flirting is concerned. A lot of girls in the year above him really like him, but he never seems to like anyone - and if he does she'd have a tough time figuring it out because he's so flirty with all of his chick friends. I'm not saying he's a player - it's just how he is and I think a lot of the time he probably has no idea of the messages he's sending to (hopeful) girls. And here's the thing....... Few months after he hurt me and I'm feeling pretty secure about not having any significant other.
I was just thinking about relationships and how funny they are. I was trying to imagine the kind of guy I'd want to be with right now and I really couldn't. I was in a very crowded space and looked around at all the people, knowing that none of them had anything I was looking for. I mentally shrugged and then suddenly he walked past and I felt like someone had dropped my heart into an icy lake as everything suddenly clicked into place and I realized that he was exactly what I was looking for. Which is very stupid and ridiculous and completely inconvenient, yes...I know.
In order for you to give me your objective opinion here I'd just like to state that I am a very melodramatic person who gets way too stressed out by things sometimes. I've just come into a new space and am generally a lot more chilled these days. I know a lot of guys are also probably a bit...intimidated (?) by me because I'm not exactly your simpering giggling pinacle of teenage girliness. I have a brain and I'm generally quite fond of using it. I'm also a bit of a weird artist, but most people seem to think I'm pretty cool. So yeah - a pretty messed up situation. Opinion?
Daniel says...
At this stage, I would caution against making grandiose judgments about whether or not this guy is the right one for you. You're still very much infatuated with this guy and you are predisposed to make judgments and decisions that lead you toward the conclusion that he is the right person for you. You like him, he doesn't seem to have feelings for you, and, at this point, it's about as simple as that. In addition, the fact that he has expressed a lack of desire to date you again may be contributing to your desire - everyone wants what they can't have to some extent.
As far as second chances go, it is possible that second chances can work...but only when they are more like first chances. That is to say, second chances have their best odds of success when the people involved have gone so long without really knowing one another that there is that same "reintroduction" period. Sure, some things won't change, but time and distance allows people to truly change and work out the show-stopping shortcomings in their dating personality. If you remain friends with one another, simply waiting a long time between your attempts at dating, the two of you will grow and change together, making it more likely that the issues that caused your break-up in the first place will either not be addressed or will merely be papered over. With that said, you do appear to be succeeding in the area of addressing your own relationship weaknesses.
No guy wants to date a drama queen and your bid to reduce (or end) your melodramatic tendencies will only help you down the road. Whether it helps you with this guy in particular remains to be seen, but it never hurts to be more even-keeled and less likely to fly off the handle at the slightest perceived wrong. Another thing you can work on is in being more decisive - and not being so prone to impulsive action (like breaking up and then immediately deciding otherwise).
This article was originally posted by Daniel in April 2009.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, second chances, drama
Boyfriends and Best Friends (Big Sister)
Mad and Sad, 19 from United States writes...
I haven't talked to my best friend in several months. She refuses to talk with me until I break up with my boyfriend, which is where my problem starts. When I first started talking to him, she had heard from family that he had this horrible reputation (which all turned out to be untrue). I got to know him and we're now dating. Some words were exchanged over the phone between her and me. It bothers me that I'm throwing away 5 years of friendship, but I didn't do anything wrong. I never insulted her, it was always me defending my actions and his. All I want is an apology and for us to go back to normal. Is there anything I can still do to save this friendship?Ivette says...
Unfortunately, you can't be waiting for an apology from your best friend. She can be expecting one too, and until one tries to be the bigger person and tries to re-establish contact with each other you will be able to talk to her. Your friend has the right to be concerned who you're dating but shouldn't be controlling or try to make those decisions for you. I don't really know what was said when you called her on the phone but your best bet is to apologize if you may have hurt her feelings. Don't feel the need to justify yourself against her accusations, just tell her that you already made the decision to date him and that even if she disapproves, it's okay; you're not always going to agree on everything, that includes guys. Is there maybe another reason she may not want you to date this guy? Talk to her and be open minded, if something doesn't make sense question her about it. Try to be honest as possible, don't defend your actions question her and try to make sense of what is so wrong about this guy. If things don't seem to be going smoothly, politely excuse yourself from the conversation and tell her you have to go. This way she won't take it bad and you don't have to keep escalating if you happen to argue. Try to be casual but direct about things, and if she is saying the same old story, just tell her what you know about this guy and to give you as a couple a chance. You're 19, remind her of that, and that you will be taking responsible of yourself if you get hurt in the relationship, not her or anyone else. Seriously considering approaching her first, don't let your pride (or her's) destroy your friendship! Good luck!Tags: advice, big sister, friends, college, high school, boyfriends, drama, best friends, trouble, friends or foes
Best Friends and Boyfriend Fights (Big Sister)
Best Friends. <3, 17 writes...
I'd just like to say thank you for giving me such great advice for my other problems. And now I have another. I have two best friends, ones a girl the others a boy. I hang out with both of them 24/7 and they became really close friends. My boy best friend and I started dating and my girl best friend was completely happy for us, and everything was cool. But now they keep getting into fights, usually she starts it and it's about the stupidest things. I always get stuck in the middle and have to "pick a side"! She says that he's an ***hole and that he doesn't care about their friendship because he never says sorry first, I honestly know he cares that they're friends but he is very stubborn and likes to win fights. It keeps getting worse and worse and I don't know what to do! Most of the time I play peace maker and solve it, but a week later they'll be in another fight about a comment said or something. What can I do???Ivette says...
It seems like your gal friend maybe a little jealous. Have you been spending time with just your boyfriend and excluding her when you three hangout? Unfortunately, it seems like you all have to stop spending time together 24/7. Sure, it's fun to have your best friend and boyfriend around but now you need to recognize your boyfriend is not your best friend number 2, he is your boyfriend. Spend time with your boyfriend, and spend time with your best friend. Your best friend may be jealous that she doesn't get time with you, so have some girl nights. This is why she might be picking up little fights with your boyfriend, she wants some attention too. Focus on your relationship and your friendship at different times. I am not telling you to completely stop being hanging out all three, but recognize that all of you aren't best friends anymore and will get more difficult when you hang out ALL the time. Have one-on-one sessions and I am sure everyone will be more happy, and it will be a treat when all of you three hang out instead of being annoyed from seeing each other every day.Tags: advice, big sister, relationship, high school, drama, best friends
Friends That Aren’t Friends (Big Sister)
Smilez, 15 writes...
Hey. Well you know there's always those "friends" you don't exactly like, or like hanging out with. I have two, and they both think I'm one of their good friends or something. I don't mind them if it's in moderation. You know? I like them if I don't spend too much time with them. Is there a nice way I can tell them ? Without starting too much drama ?Ivette says...
There's no nice way to tell someone you're not really friends. At this age, issues like friendship and relationships are very sensitives ones and you can't just be like, "Sorry just wanted to tell you we're not friends, okay?" One thing you can do is start limiting your interactions with them, it may seem mean but after you ditch them for a certain amount of time, they'll get it. Be civil and try to be nice with them, some people may have low self esteem and may attach to others so easily because of this. It sounds like your "friends" became attached to you too quick for your comfort and that's okay. If they start questioning your change in behavior just tell them that you have been busy and excuse yourself politely. Try to be friendly but bold and hopefully you won't hurt their feelings too much.Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, friendships, high school, drama, not friends, attachment
Where has the Friendship Gone? (Big Sister)
Austin-Bells, 18 writes...
Ok, so me and my best guy friend pretty much had a falling out. We've been good friends for three years. Then all of a sudden he started ditching me or ignoring me all together. Our email/text conversations have dwindled down to one or two word answers. So basically, I wrote him a four page letter about how I felt when our friendship started, when and why I fell for him (we decided to stay good friends) and I felt when he started blowing me off. In the end of the letter was me telling him that he has to tell me whether we're friends or not because I'm tired of trying to figure it out myself. I graduate high school in a few weeks and I want to end things on good terms, but he's never told me how he felt about any of this and I gave him the letter a week ago. He asked to sign my yearbook and I let him and all it said was "Fun times in band, have a good summer." Everybody's telling me to just let it go and end everything with him. But, he's the only person at my school that actually "gets" me so it's hard for me to do. Should I continue waiting or just sever all ties with him?Ivette says...
It sounds like your friend may not know how to react with this whole drama. He probably felt awkward and guilty that he didn't like you back so he decided that the best thing to do is avoid his emotions and avoid you in case you would put him in a future awkward situation. He probably thinks that as long as he avoids you until graduation he will be able to be safe. Instead of sending him notes, confront him directly. We don't want to scare him away or feel more uncomfortable, but if you go up to him and say, "hey what's up? Do you have a couple of minutes? It's not a big deal but I wanted to tell you some stuff," he will have to listen to you. You can start by saying that you think you screwed up a little and that you're sorry if you ever made him feel uncomfortable or awkward. If people are telling you to leave this friend, is because you let them know. So you can apologize and tell him you didn't mean for things to escalate and make it turn into a big drama. You can say that you've moved on and you would hate things to remain awkward between you two. Just leave it at that and hopefully, with some time and space he can come to terms with the situation and slowly start to speak to you. It won't happen in a day but the key is to not make him more uncomfortable than he already is since he seems to be avoiding you because he is scared of the whole ordeal.Tags: advice, big sister, crushes, friends, girl, high school, drama, boy, graduation
My Best Friend Likes My Ex! (Big Sister)
My boyfriend and I broke up a few days ago. I broke up with him, not because I didn't like him anymore; it's just our relationship was bad. He kept pushing & pushing me away. Also he would flirt a lot with my girl friends and pick them over me. I did try talking to him about it but it didn't change anything. Finally I got hurt too many times and couldn't take it anymore so I ended it. We were best friends before, and now we don't even look at each other. That's actually kind of alright with me, because I don't want to be around him right now. I liked him a lot & I'm trying to get over him. Well the problem is, my best friend likes him now. I told her I don't mind and if it makes her happy, it's fine (she's not allowed to date). I meant what I said to her, her liking him doesn't bother me, but if he were to like her, it would kill me. I just want to be a good friend to her but it's hard. And I know he won't like her back, okay, that could change but he told me he didn't think of her that way. I don't want her getting hurt; guys always hurt her nowadays, she cries a lot. I just don't know what to do.Ivette says...
I think the best thing you could do is to tell her how you feel. Tell her that you do actually have a problem and as much as you want to be her friend and support her, you can't be by her side if she dates your ex. You probably said to her that you didn't have a problem because you don't think that she will ever date him, but what happens if she does? What if her parents allowed her to date and your ex liked her? You wouldn't feel much confident backing her up. So your best bet is to actually sit down and talk to her, and tell her how you truly feel. This way she will be able to make a decision and not let her feelings escalate even more.Tags: advice, big sister, dating, high school, drama, ex, best friend, bff, boy friend, ex bf