Developing A Relationship
I Can’t Call Him - Now What?!?! (Ask A Guy)
Anonymous, 16 writes...
I like this guy and we pass each other in the hall. Sometimes we smile at each other and say hey, but I would really like to hang out and talk with him more. What is a good way to get us to hang out with each other and talk more? He doesn't go on Myspace very often and my phone is broken right now so we can eliminate those two options.
Daniel says...
Fear not. If talking to this guy online and talking to him on the phone aren't options, then there are still three perfectly viable options:
- Letters via the U.S. Postal Service or another registered delivery service
- Carrier pigeon
- Actually talking to him
The most important thing is to make sure he knows your name. If he does, then that's great. But if he doesn't, then you need to introduce yourself to him. Something like, "hi, I've noticed you in the halls a few times. I'm _____." And yes, it's really that simple. You don't need anything over-the-top witty or unbelievably interesting to break the ice with a guy. After that, talk to him every once in a while when you pass him. Don't do it every time, so it doesn't seem like you are coming on too quickly; give him a chance to get used to you. When you do talk to him, you could ask him how he's doing, where he's headed, or what he thought of a test in a certain class you share with one another. I'm not talking about anything earth-shattering here.
Eventually you should move things along by asking him to join you at a party with a group of friends. Make it a co-ed party so he can always hang out with the guys if things get a little slow at some point. Most importantly, though, remember to have patience. You can't rush a relationship.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, communication, gauging interest, developing a relationship
Hey Dude, I Like You (Ask A Guy)
lari lynn3, 16 writes...
There is this guy in my class who is cute, funny, and awesome. I've grown to like him, but I don't know how to approach him and say "hey dude, I like you" without freaking him out. What do I do?
Daniel says...
You're right that walking up to him and telling him that you like him will probably accomplish little aside from freaking him out. Think about how it would make you feel if a guy randomly walked up to you and announced that he likes you. Would you be flattered? Probably. But you would also probably be a little intimidated at the thought of a guy liking you who you didn't even know that well. And that's precisely the point. You need to take the time to get to know this guy. Flirt with him, develop a closeness and comfort with him, and see where things go. Once the two of you know one another fairly well, then you can think about starting to plan some chances for the two of you to get together one-on-one.
Once you do start planning some mini-dates, think about activities that aren't terribly romantic but give the two of you a chance to hang out and get to know one another. Maybe there's a minor league baseball team in your area that you can go see or an amusement park that a group of friends are planning to visit for a day. As the two of you get to know one another better, you can start making the activities a little more personal and quiet. After hanging out several times, see if he wants to catch a movie or invite him over to your place for a movie. Hopefully at some point, he'll take the chance to plan something of his own for the two of you. The advantage to this plan is that it lets things develop somewhat naturally and would allow you to slowly step things back if one of you discovered things weren't working out or you were uncomfortable letting things go any further.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, crushes, developing a relationship