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Time To Give Up? (Big Sister)
Nicole?, 14 writes...
A few days ago at a skating rink I saw a guy that I thought was really cute and I decided to ask if he was single. The answer was yes, so we exchanged phone numbers and started talking for a couple of days. Recently I found out my friend talks to him too. He told her that he likes another girl, a girl that he's known longer. Should I give up on liking him? Is it pointless since he likes another girl? And also, how often should you text a guy? If he's never the one to text you first should you still continue texting him or no?amanda says...
Since this guy has admitted to liking another girl, I would simmer down with the texting. I wouldn't completely give up on him though. He clearly doesn't know you very well yet and who knows, maybe he'll develop feelings despite his current interest in this other girl. I would say stay in touch and just get to know each other. Maybe invite him to a group thing to just hang out. Worst comes to worst, you keep him as a friend. With regard to texting, it's hard to say. I find you have to feel it out with each guy you're dealing with. If he's giving you one word answers and not continuing the conversation, then I would back off. You *could* text him every day if you felt that he was receptive to the texts. Some people don't enjoy text messaging though so there's no exact answer to how often you should text someone. As long as you're not being annoying, then you should be good!Should I Tell Him? (Big Sister)
babiisunshiine, 14 from Canada writes...
I really like this boy but I don't know how to tell him! Should I even tell him??amanda says...
I think you should tell him! I know it might be scary but the thing is, he might like you too an is too shy to tell you. If you tell him, something might come from it. There are many ways you can let him know. If you have him on MSN or Facebook, then you can message him about it, which might be easier than telling him to his face. but I must say, if you have the guts to tell him straight up, then go for it! Don't be obsessive, but just pull him aside and say that you would like to get to know him more and you think that you may be able to see him as more than just a friend. Throw in some jokes and giggles and you're set! Worst comes to worst, he'll tell you he sees you as only a friend. And yes, that might hurt, but at least you'll know and won't be left wondering if it's something you should pursue or not!A School Dance and a Crush (Big Sister)
Emily Rose, 13 writes...
There's this guy in my grade that I've been best friends with for over a year now and recently I've been starting to think of him as more than just a friend. There's a dance at our school soon and I don't know if I should tell him how I feel or just keep quiet. I'm afraid if I tell him how I feel he might not feel the same way and then it'd be weird to hang out together. What should I do?Ivette says...
I think right now would be the best time to decide if you want to have a boyfriend or not. Yes, you may like home lots, but after you tell him what would YOU like to happen? Would you like to be in a relationship with him or let things just stay the same. If you already decided that it would be nice for him to be your boyfriend and maybe think he likes you too, you should tell him. If you're really not sure how he feels about you maybe it's time to flirt with him a little to see how he reacts. If he flirts back with you then it is likely that he likes you back, if he doesn't then maybe you shouldn't tell him yet you like him since it will definitely change your friendship. Test the waters first! You can tell to some degree that a person likes you without directly telling him or her. Does he smile at you when he sees you in school? Does he behave the same way when he is with his friends? Does he treat you more nice compared to the other girls in your school? Does he make time for you when not in school? These are some simple questions you can ask yourself to evaluate if he likes you or not. Either way, be patient! At this age, it's really tricky for guys to be as emotionally involved as girls are. Good luck!Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, girl, friendships, crush, boy, middle school, does he like me
Getting Over It (Big Sister)
I just have one simple question that may be kind of hard to answer: how do you get over a broken heart?Ivette says...
Getting your heart broken is not something easy to get over right away. Some important things to understand is that everyone goes through them, and that as hard as it seems, things will eventually get better. It may seem a little hard at first but try these things out: be comfortable, eat and sleep well. Being healthy is very important, and you should really take care of yourself. Yoga, meditation and other forms of passive exercises may help you cleanse yourself in spiritual, mental and physical ways. Self improvement is great too. Want to change something? Get a haircut or dye your hair! You can go to the mall and buy a nice dress to show off. Pamper yourself and feel pretty! Rely on your social support group too. Seek your family and friends when you feel like talking to someone, spend time with them and reconnect. You could also keep yourself busy by picking up a hobby or volunteering, you could redirect that energy and create something positive with it! Another important thing is to really get rid of all the stuff that reminds you of the person who hurt you. Don't try to contact and talk to him because chances are it's going to be tough to get over them if you still let them be part of your life. It will take time, but it's possible. Don't rush your healing, take baby steps and take one day at a time. Remember that as hard as it seems you can do this. Good luck!Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, girl, break up, boy, broken heart, how to get over a break up
Relationships After High School (Big Sister)
Lizabeth, 16 writes...
I'm a junior in high school, and I've been thinking about my options after I graduate. Just recently, I decided that I want to move to a city pretty far away from where I currently live (about 9, if you drive), and my boyfriend of nearly 3 years is still undecided about his plans after graduation. I know it's still a year from now until this actually becomes an issue, but every time the subject gets brought up, it's like this unspoken discussion is just hanging between us. We've talked about this a little, but not to the point where we consider moving in together. Honestly, in the area we live in, there aren't many opportunities in the career field he wants to be in. I think maybe him moving with me would be good for him as well? But I know it's his decision in the end. What I was wondering was, is it even worth pursuing this relationship after we graduate? And also, how and when should I bring this living-together issue up? Should I wait until it's closer to graduation? I really love him and care about him, but I'm trying to be mature and realistic about this at the same time. I just can't imagine living without him, and I know I'd feel like I threw away a GREAT relationship if I broke up with him just to keep from risking that happening later down the road. Thanks!Ivette says...
This is a tricky situation because you've been with your boyfriend since you were around 13-14. I would say explore your options but do not limit yourself and stay in your hometown just because your boyfriend will be. Some people break up after high school and some end up marrying their high school sweet hearts. We can't read into the future and see what will be the fate of your relationship, but try to prioritize what's important in your life at this point. You both are still very young and jumping into "let's move in together!" will be pretty intense even if you've been with him for nearly 3 years. One of you will have to take the decision and start talking about what will happen in the future. This will be an important time to see if you guys are in the same page, and if you see each other together and come up with a plan. Even if things don't work out in the end, you at least tried to. Don't wait until it's closer to graduation, it's better to have a plan now than it to be too late and miss out on certain deadlines. Plan your future, talk to each other, see if you still have certain compatibilities and if things can be adjusted. The more you concretely talk about these issues the better you guys will feel about the whole situation.Tags: advice, relationships, big sister, college, girl, high school, long distance, boy, moving in, plans after graduation