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I used to date this guy in the early 90's. He is ten years younger than I am. I am an attractive, independent woman and our age difference never mattered. I still look good. I take good care of myself. Somehow, we became separated. Anyway, I got married and he went off to prison in 2001. He was gone for about six or seven years. I ran into him in March 2008. We saw each other for a little while and stopped again for about six months. At the time, I was separated from my current husband, and he and I decided to get back together. That lasted for six months until we separated again.
I ran back into him but all I can tell is that he is needy he never has any money. He doesn't make a lot of money at his job, but I always have to give something to him for gas to come and see me. He asks for food and he has borrowed money and hasn't paid me back as promised. He has a very bad temper and is verbally abusive. He can be physically abusive as well. He loves to go out to these hole-in-the-wall clubs and is labeled a drunk. I try to understand him and help as much as I can, but what to do? Do I need to leave this man alone?
Gale Patrice Carter | age 51 | Tennessee | August 17, 2009
Daniel says...
In the annals of "obvious solutions" this one has to take the cake. Set aside the issues with your ex-husband. You married him and it sounds like you made every reasonable effort to save your marriage. For that you should be commended. Unfortunately, it sounds like you haven't been so thoughtful with regard to your current relationship. This guy leaches off you, "borrows" money from you, has never paid you back, and is physically and verbally abusive toward you. Staying with him is not only bad for you, it's self-destructive. I understand that women often want to "fix" the things wrong with the guy they are with. Women want to believe in the good in the guys they choose to devote themselves to. You have fallen into the same trap countless other women have, but the difference is, you know full-well what is wrong with this situation and you know what it takes to fix it. Leave this guy, and stand up for yourself. You may not need to worry about maintaining the respect of others or what your parents, friends, or family will think of you, but you should still be concerned about your own happiness and well-being. Getting this guy out of your life will be the best way to ensure that happiness.Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, romance, history
Published on August 17, 2009 by Daniel | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.