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Lovin’, Touchin’ ...
I have this guy friend and we've known each other four years now. Lately, every time I'm with him he always has his friend David over and they always talk to me about what they do and want to do with girls. It makes me kind of uncomfortable. But last week I started to go out with David and now that I know what he wants it kind of bugs me. He is a great boyfriend but I don't want all of my soon-to-be boyfriends to be like that. He is just so touchy - and not in the emotional way. So you're a guy, what do you think I should do? Should I take this seriously, or just forget about it?
Danyelle | age 13 | California | August 16, 2009
Daniel says...
If you aren't sure you like this guy's outlook toward the fairer sex, then why are you dating him?!?! Fortunately, at 13 years old, it seems as though you have the right outlook on the relationship. You reference "soon-to-be boyfriends" in your question and, in doing so, imply that you aren't dead set on this relationship lasting forever. This is a good thing, because relationships at 13 are about having fun, getting to know people, and getting at least some idea what you are looking for in a relationship. So your current relationship has proven valuable in at least one respect: you know you want a guy with a modicum of respect for women. You want someone who is averse to discussing his exploits with women (whether real or imagined).
It's clear this guy is driven by one head - and it's not the one on his shoulders. Keep in mind that most teenage guys are as horny as a 90-year old Gila Monster. If you are seriously uncomfortable with this fact, then you have a choice to make. Either you can end things with him and hope to find someone a little less "hormonally-inspired" or you can sit down and have an honest, earnest discussion with him. You probably aren't going to completely alter his behavior (or his mind), but you may get him to back off a bit. After an extended period of behaving in a certain way, there's a chance he may come to appreciate that viewpoint. But don't get your hopes up too high. If you try to change your guy too much, he will eventually become unhappy with the way you expect him to behave.
Tags: ask a guy, dating, intimacy
Published on August 16, 2009 by Daniel | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.