Sex Ed 101
Frequent Fellacio
My boyfriend and I have been dating for about a year and a half, and we have engaged in oral sex, but nothing further. I'm very happy with this arrangement, but for the past few months he has been pressuring me for it all the time. I hate feeling like I 'have' to do something to keep him happy, and when I try to explain to him how being intimate is different to girls he shrugs it off and tells me to 'get over it'. I don't know how to change our sexual relationship so I feel like it's not something we have to have. Help?Anonymous | age 17 | September 30, 2009
Brittany says...
First and foremost, your boyfriend needs to understand that any type of sex isn't a right - it's a privilege. I don't want to make it sound like it's something to be earned, but really, when you think about it, isn't it? Generally speaking, something like oral sex comes when two people trust each other, as well as respect each other... and pressuring somebody to do something when they don't want to, isn't okay.
You've done the right thing by explaining your feelings towards your boyfriend, but sometimes boys can be a little thick headed and not really understand the way you think they do. Sit him down again and tell him that pressuring you into doing it all the time, makes you feel uncomfortable and unhappy with it. Let him know that you'd rather do it because you both want to, not because you feel it's an obligation... it's a way to express your feelings towards each other (emotional, sexual, etc.) and by doing it all the time, it's going to lose that excitement and the meaning behind it. Don't do it just to make him happy, though. Giving in to his pressure isn't going to solve anything.
Hopefully he'll get it, otherwise he's being a jerk. "Get over it" isn't an acceptable response to you explaining your feelings. If he doesn't understand and keeps pressuring you, lose him and find yourself somebody who's much more worth your time.
Tags: sex, relationships, blow jobs, oral sex, peer pressure, boyfriends, fellacio
Published on September 30, 2009 by Brittany | Read all recent Sex Ed 101 articles.