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Date Mistake Number One

I went on a date recently and when we were waiting to order I had to go to the bathroom. So I went and by the time I got back the guy I was with had ordered what he wanted and grabbed us a table (we went to a fast food place - I picked it.) That left me to pay for my own meal. I brought it up with him afterward in a subtle, tactful way. He said he was very sorry, that he didn't think and then spent the entire date saying he couldn't believe he hadn't offered to pay and felt horrible. He said he'd buy me dinner another time to make up for it. In fact, he wouldn't stop going on about it and apologizing the entire date. So, my question is, do you think this is something I should be wary of? I mean from a guy's P.O.V. do you genuinely think he's sorry or do you think it's just a good act? To me he seemed genuinely sorry and he has arranged to see me again so I presume he may keep to his word?

anonymous | age 25 | July 15, 2010

Daniel says...

As I see it, this guy made a mistake. Certainly it was a relatively big one for a guy on a first date, but if we all wrote people off for making a mistake early in a relationship, then none of us would ever be with someone for longer than a couple of dates. This guy appeared to be sorry, seemed sincere about it, and made sure he was going to make it up to you by scheduling his chance to do so. At this point, you do not have a sufficient basis to know whether or not he is sincere. The important thing is he sounds sincere and at this point, it's impossible to gauge his true sincerity.

Go on another date with him. If he makes an egregious error or "forgets" to pay again, then you have reason to avoid going out with him. But don't judge this guy until you've at least given him a chance to make up for this one seemingly minor mistake. Just have fun and see where things go. He may be a very nice guy who was just excited to be going on a date with you and nervous to make sure he acted naturally. It certainly wouldn't be the first time a nervous or uncertain guy made a fool of himself in front of a girl he liked!

Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, second chances, sincerity

Published on July 13, 2010 by Daniel | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.