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Danger Is Her Middle Name

Hey Daniel! I need an honest guy's quick opinion. I was talking to the guy I've been crushing on last night. We have hung out, messed around, and such. Last night he asked me to send him pics. I'm not a fan of "sexting," but seeing as how he's already seen my body, it wouldn't really bother me. I told him no though because I was having an off night. I felt like crap, I looked like crap, and any picture I'd have taken would have been...well, crap. And I told him that. He said "Okay. But, no matter how you feel, no picture you take could ever look like crap. Any picture of you would be beautiful because you're beautiful." Well, that's a line if I've ever heard one right? So I said to him, "you're just saying that because you want a picture." He kind of got offended. Or at least, it seemed that way. It can be hard to tell through text, you know? He said he really meant it. Do you think he meant it, or do think it was a line?

Elli | age 19 | Pennsylvania | July 29, 2009

Daniel says...

I don't think it matters whether he meant it or not. The fact of the matter is, you didn't feel comfortable giving a picture and he needs to be okay with that. His motives that night were clear - he certainly wanted a photo from you and he was motivated to prop up your ego in order to get one. The fact that the two of you have apparently seen one another naked and he wanted you to send him such a picture certainly indicates he likes what he sees and it wouldn't surprise me if he was speaking from the heart when he said you are truly beautiful. He is clearly attracted to you. With that said, consider whether "sexting" with him is really what you want to do. Certainly, the picture would not comprise anything he hadn't seen before. And certainly, there is the possibility no harm would come of it. But what happens if a friend is looking through his phone and comes across your picture? Or what happens if something goes awry between the two of you and he winds up being hurt? A simple text message and that seemingly innocent picture can be in the hands of friends, on a dozen websites, or even in your parents' inbox. When you send a guy a nude (or half-nude, semi-nude, or merely provocative) picture of yourself, you put all the power in his hands. You can never delete those pictures from his phone or his computer. In my opinion, it would seem that the chances for severe embarrassment are far too great for me to be willing to cast off my clothes for a quick and dirty cell phone photo session.

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Published on August 16, 2009 by Daniel | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.