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A Relationship Takes Two
How do I get my ex back even though he wants to date someone else? He broke up with me because apparently after one day he's over me like that. He decided he only wants to be friends and only likes me as a friend. What should I do?
Girl_who_needs_advice2012 | age 16 | January 17, 2010
Daniel says...
If your boyfriend broke up with you claiming he doesn't like you any more or he only wants to be friends, then there's really nothing you can do. As much as we would like at times, we cannot (and should not) manipulate other people once they have made up their minds about a personal decision. If you were able to change his mind, then what would that say about how much he really wants to be with you? You cannot simply tell someone what to feel and then hope to have them actually feel that emotion. What's most likely is that, if you were able to make him want to date you again, it would be a decision made out of pity or shame. He wouldn't want to be with you but he would feel like he should. No one wants to be in that position.
If he has moved on, then so should you. Join a new club. Reunite with friends whose relationships suffered while you were with this guy. Take more hours at work (or get a part-time job) so you can make more money. Keep yourself busy and you won't have idle attention that nearly always seems to fixate on the most painful thing in your life. Staying busy will allow your subconscious mind to focus on and process the pain you experience as you get over this guy and you will soon find your mood increasing and discover that you think of him less and less. I know this doesn't sound like fun - it probably doesn't even sound bearable. But give yourself a few days to think about it and it will begin to make sense. Eventually, you understand that this is the best thing for you and at some point you will meet a guy who really wants to be with you.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, just friends, break ups
Published on January 17, 2010 by Daniel | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.