Big Sister

Imagine the perfect Big Sister. She listens thoughtfully, understands what you’re going through (because she’s been there too!), and won’t rat you out to mom and dad. She takes it all in, and then gives really good advice that you can actually use. Whether your parents provided you with a big sister or not, the perfect Big Sisters are right here and ready to dish out dating advice, love advice, relationship advice, friend advice, family advice, etiquette advice... You get the picture! We know what we’re talking about, and we just love imparting our sisterly advice.

Slow Down!

Okay, I have this boyfriend and we have been going out for about two weeks. Before we started going out, we knew each other for about a month. And this problem is really getting on my nerves. Almost everyone around me moves fairly fast in relationships and that is what I'm used to seeing and now want. Now in knowing him a total of about a month and a half, we don't even hold hands. I've brought it up many times before and we have talked about it and all he says is that he get scared or nervous when he wants to do it and then doesn't do it. When it comes to me for some reason I don't personally understand why I just didn't do it for myself, and then the more time that passes, the more awkward it gets to have to do it. Almost all of my friends know how much I like him and his friends knows that he likes me and whenever we pass any of them in the hallway, they go and say "hold her hand!" or "grab her hand!" That is what I want but now I have become dependent on him to do it. I am also telling myself that if he doesn't do it by like lets say Monday, I'll go ahead and do it myself. I am up to it but the thing is that is there a time limit on things in relationships? Or is it all going to happen in time? Nicole, 15 from California, USA

Kerry's advice: Firstly, don't be to inclined to agree or go with everything that is happening around you. Just because your friends are in fast pace relationships, (that normally do not end well!), doesn't mean that you have to be in one also. I understand wanting to be like them in their relationships but that's just not always practical or logical.

Secondly, I want to address the part about you talking to him about it. That was a great first step. You also need to realize however, that since he did open up to you, you need to be willing to compromise. From everything you've given me it seems like your boyfriend is not the kind of guy who likes to display affection for the world to see. Will he hold your hand when the two of you are alone, say watching a movie at either person's home? He may be the kind of guy that likes to keep things between the two of you, and not just some guy who will kiss you in public to get a look from his ex girlfriend about how happy he is.

Also, how many relationships has he been in? He may not be sure how to act at all? Just give it time and don't give up on him easily. Make sure when you do talk to him about this that you remain calm and don't get to frustrated with him. It may also be helpful for you to give him pointers. For instance, say "It would be really sweet of you if you would hold my hand when we walk down the hall, or when we walk home, etc." Most of all, Good Luck!

Accepting the Past

Recently I've been talking to a guy who is really cool, nice and really smart. I like spending time with him and I, ultimately, find him attractive, but the only problem is that he has slept with a lot of girls! 14 to be exact and he is a year older than I. I told him what I think about this, but it didn't turn out well because I was some what drunk. In your opinion, should I still get to know him and see how he is because he has had long term girlfriends before, and he doesn't exactly come off as a guy with only lecherous intentions. So does that stamp of 14 girls have to influence my perspective towards a guy? Or should I be glad that he was at least honest and take that number as I want? Because is it really worth to just cut off a guy because of his past? Sophie, 18 from Canada

Sunny's advice: That's rough and really comes down to what you're comfortable with. You can't hold someone's past against them, but at the same time that doesn't mean that you have to accept everything that they've ever done. Sleeping with fourteen people does not make you a bad person, but how has he had time to sleep with that many girls by 19 and have some long term relationships? That's just a question that came up in my mind. I definitely encourage you to get to know him though and decide if he's worth you having to deal with his past. If he's wonderful and doesn't seem as though he would ever cheat, well then don't let a fantastic opportunity slip through your fingers because of something that happened before he met you. But only if you feel you can handle it. Relationships are hard enough already without having to look at every girl he's ever known and wonder if he's slept with her, so just... get to know him and make sure he's worth it.

Long Awaited Feedback: Stinky Feet!

A suggestion for stinky feet is to brew a gallon of strong black or green tea. As in a gallon of water and 5 or 6 teabags. Let the tea cool down enough and then put it in a bucket or basin and soak your feet in it for anywhere from 10-20 minutes. The chemical components of the tea will help kill nasty bacteria that can make your feet smell. After soaking, just rinse your feet and you're good to go. Try this 1-2 times a week and it should fix the problem. I know it sounds weird but it really does work. Eliza, 19 from Iowa, USA

Kerry's advice: That sounds amazing honestly! I will have to start trying that out.

Is life getting you down? Are you having boy (or girl) troubles? Or do you just want reassurance on something that you're not so sure about? No matter what problem you're experiencing, your Big Sisters are always happy to help you out! So feel free to ask for guidance! How about comments and criticisms? We're here to help you and would love to hear what you like about our page or what you would change about it.

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