PurplePJs
Am I Overreacting?
(Ask A Guy)
My boyfriend and I have been dating for a little over four months. He lives with me at my parents' house, and I love him so very much. He means everything to me. He is a couple years older than me, but he can't sit and have a serious conversation with me. I want to talk to him about how he makes me feel. I feel like I always come after his
A Bit Confused | age 16 | United States | September 2, 2010
Daniel says...
It doesn't sound like you are overreacting in the slightest; it sounds like your older boyfriend is abusing the fact that he is older than you. What makes this situation even worse is that it sounds like your family is doing him a huge favor by letting him live with you and yet he still takes advantage of the favors he is being given. It doesn't sound like any of this is intentional, though. I believe your boyfriend is just oblivious to anyone other than himself. It's typical of someone in their teens or early 20s. For whatever reason, most people go through a selfish phase in their teen years. Your issue raises a significant question regarding the very foundation of a relationship.
If you can't get your boyfriend to talk about
Published on August 31, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, communication, dating, archive
Figuring It All Out
(Ask A Guy)
Hi! There is this guy who I met a few months ago and he is just amazing! He is definitely the nicest guy I have ever met and we are really good friends. He smiles at me all the time, tries to make me laugh, and jokes around with me. If we decide to hang out with our friends, I can't be 10 minutes late without him texting me or calling me
Jean | age 19 | Canada | September 1, 2010
Daniel says...
If you're a regular Ask A Guy reader, you know that I rarely (if ever) tell someone to blurt out that they like someone. Figuring out if someone likes you is part of the relationship development process. It creates excitement, intrigue, and interest that drives the two of you to get to know one another better. If you simply blurt it out without any of the development or build-up then that excitement is lost. Excitement is what gets early relationships "over the hump" and develops the kind of knowledge about one another that builds into a more permanent bond.
The best thing for you to do is find opportunities for the two of you to hang out. Give yourselves a chance to get to know one another even better and even hang out alone. It
Published on August 30, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, showing interest, admitting feelings, archive
Some Time Would Be Nice
(Ask A Guy)
I've been seeing a guy, David, for about six months. He is really wonderful and I'm incredibly taken by him - unlike I've ever felt about any other guy. The only problem is that our schedules conflict terribly. I work every morning at six am and he works from nine to four. It would work out fine if he didn't insist on working out for three
Meg | age 17 | Arizona | September 1, 2010
Daniel says...
You have handled things about about as well as you could. When you notice problems, you have communicated them to him and it doesn't sound like you have nagged him about them. You have simply mentioned your problems and tried to work through them with him. What you're getting from him, though, is a complete lack of cooperation. Set aside for the moment the trip to Vegas. Take a look at your relationship from outside the perspective provided by that.
Your boyfriend doesn't appear to be concerned with you, your needs, or your desires at all. Your relationship is all about him. You hang out when it's convenient for him, he is unwilling to alter his schedule or show any respect for what's going on in your life. Even worse, he tries to
Published on August 30, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, communication, dating, commitment, archive, making time for one another
Health News - Body, Mind & Soul
(Health Nut)
In the news this week... - Teens tired from all that texting
- How the internet can make you healthier
- Best Questions To Ask In Your Job Interview
- Flirting Your Way To The Corner Office
Top Stories
Digital Devices Deprive Brain of Needed Downtime (NY TIMES) - ... Cellphones, which in the last few years have become full-fledged computers with high-speed Internet connections, let people relieve the tedium of exercising, the grocery store line, stoplights or lulls in the dinner conversation. The technology makes the tiniest windows of time entertaining, and potentially productive. But scientists point to an unanticipated side effect: when people keep their brains busy with digital input, they are forfeiting downtime that could allow Continue reading!Published on August 31, 2010 by Jamie | 1 Comment | Read all recent Health Nut articles.
Tags: health nut, health news
Annoying…At First
(Ask A Guy)
I have known this guy for more than a year now, we met through friends in common, but to be very honest, I couldn't stand him. Last Christmas at a party, my friends and I noticed he kept looking at me and during a small conversation with a friend about me, short dresses, and how "no one will look at me if i were to wear a short dress
Curious | age 22 | August 31, 2010
Daniel says...
It's never easy to tell what someone's intention is with respect to relationships, particularly if they are good with words and can talk their way into (or out of) any situation. The proper gauge of this guy's intent, though, is most likely found in his behavior when he's not around. Does he talk to you regularly? Does he flirt with you online and tell you he misses you? Or does he generally ignore you and hold you at arm's length, only to re-establish contact shortly before he returns? When the possibility exists that a guy is only using you for some kind of sexual intimacy the key to gauging the guy's intent lies solely in how he behaves when having sex (or any other kind of physical contact) with you is not possible.
If he
Published on August 29, 2010 by Daniel | 1 Comment | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: sex, ask a guy, advice, relationships, gauging interest, flirting
Out of My League
(Ask A Guy)
You've answered so many of my bizarre questions through the years, thank you. I'm back! On to the boy. He's my next-door neighbor and he is amazing. He has beautiful eyes, reads Twilight, helps cook and clean the dishes at my house, and he is one of the most mature, respecting guys I have ever met. We hang out a lot, but he has a
Brown Eyes | age 16 | United States | August 31, 2010
Daniel says...
First, it's not a problem for someone to be attracted to someone other than their girlfriend. We're human - we're bound to be attracted to more than just one person, so don't knock him down a peg or two simply because he might be attracted to you and dating someone else. Regarding his feelings, it is rare that a guy can pursue a friendship with a girl and have it remain platonic for the entire duration of the friendship. That's just not how friendships between guys and girls work. In large part this is because guys rarely pursue friendships with girls to whom they aren't attracted. Based on the conversations the two of you had, I'm fairly certain he is interested in you.
At this point, this interest doesn't surpass his interest in
Published on August 29, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, gauging interest, guys with girlfriends, archive
Hot and Cold
(Ask A Guy)
Hey Daniel, I was hoping you could help me understand what's going on with my ex. We were very good friends before we dated and he broke it off around five months ago. He assured me (of course) that we could be friends. I was pretty upset for quite a while, but I eventually became okay with the situation. However, we're in all our classes
Rachel | age 18 | Minnesota | August 30, 2010
Daniel says...
Your ex-boyfriend is waffling between enjoying your company and feeling guilty over the end of your relationship. The latter probably makes him feel as though he is remaining too close to you and leading you on. This causes him to back off a little and, after some time passes, start interacting with you because he feels like enough distance has developed. He's holding you at arm's length because he doesn't want either of you to get your hopes up too high and then get hurt. If you are determined to maintain a friendship with this guy, then you need to level with him about what you're observing and what you're feeling. You're seeing him go very hot and cold - tell him that.
You are afraid he's doing it because of how you may be
Published on August 28, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, gauging interest, friends, archive
Getting Him To Leave You Alone
(Ask A Guy)
I have this creeper creepin' on me. He keeps texting me and flirting with me and I already told him I'm not interested but he sad he's not going to stop flirting with me. I have two classes with him, and though it's obvious I don't like him and I ignore him, he still keeps texting me. He even tried to give me a hug, when I had only said
amberwamber | age 16 | August 30, 2010
Daniel says...
As odd as it sounds, so far you have handled this situation absolutely correctly. You have tried to tell him exactly what you think about his advances and his flirting. Set aside the fact that he hasn't listened for now. It sounds as though you have been insistent and forceful, yet still pretty nice. That's important because when you take the gloves off, you can be justified in doing so because you have already tried to be friendly in the way you have handled the situation. The best thing to do now is to start completely ignoring him--don't talk to him, don't approach him, don't respond when he talks to you. And when he does try to talk to you, just walk away. You can only be expected to do so much in terms of getting him to
Continue reading!Published on August 28, 2010 by Daniel | 1 Comment | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, saying no
Did My Boyfriend Make Me Lesbian?
(Sex Ed 101)
Well a little bit about me is that I'm 17 and in my final year of high school. I've been with my boyfriend for 10 months and we've had a blast together...except now. He didn't tell me that he had been talking to a girl friend of his over the summer and having problems at the beginning of our relationship about her has always been a
anonymous | age 17 | August 30, 2010
JamieG says...
I'm having a bit of a hard time figuring out exactly what your question is, but I'll give it my best shot. To the best of my knowledge and experience, breaking up with your boyfriend is not something that will "turn" you into a lesbian (if for no other reason than that nobody "turns" gay). I mean, look at it this way: If having a bad experience with a person of a particular gender was enough to cause you to no longer be attracted to anyone of that gender, there would be very few people in the world who were having sex at all, and our species would have died out long ago. Personally, I would've become a lesbian sometime during middle school, and probably would've given up on women fairly shortly thereafter.If you really are Continue reading!
Published on August 30, 2010 by JamieG | No Comments | Read all recent Sex Ed 101 articles.
Tags: relationships, sexuality, attraction, sex ed, homosexuality
Dating Should Be Fun
(Ask A Guy)
Hey Daniel,
There is this guy that I think likes me. My brother, my sister, and my cousin think that he likes me, too, but I'm not sure. If both of us are standing in a group of people he will come over and stand really close to me. Also he's always lightly pushing me just so I will push him back. Then he pretends he is mad. So I say I'm
Kiali | age 13 | August 29, 2010
Daniel says...
I'm really not sure what "mixed signals" you're talking about because every behavior he makes toward you is filled with some level of flirtation, innuendo, or sign of interest. Yes, I think he's interested in you and I can't tell why you don't see the same when you look back over his behavior toward you. When a guy is interested in a girl, it is fairly common for him to want to be in contact with her. Whether it's communicative contact (emailing, texting, talking online) or physical contact (touching, poking, hugging, acting angry so you console him), a guy who likes a girl wants to know he's on her mind. Sometimes his behavior can go a bit over the top to the point where he is always doing something to the girl and never
Continue reading!Published on August 27, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, gauging interest
If You Do What You Always Did, You’ll Get What You Always Got
(Ask A Guy)
I dated a guy for three years and a couple months; we lived together for the last two years. We have been through A LOT together and saying that is a huge understatement, because we have been through everything imaginable. He has kids and we have had trouble with their mother and family. He stuck by me through a devastating eating disorder
Jennifer | age 20 | Illinois | August 29, 2010
Daniel says...
You're afraid to make a decision for the simple fact that you don't like the decision you have to make. Your relationship is as unhealthy as it is predictable: you'll go a while in which things are okay, then one of you will get upset about something (cheating, drugs, money, etc.), and the two of you will spend some time apart. The fact that you're willing to walk out on him to prove a point, proves my point. Your relationship isn't serious enough to merit bending over backward to save because you're willing to simply walk away in a huff in order to get your way. If you truly love someone, you stand by them, work with them, and work together to fix whatever problems exist in your relationship.
Walking away doesn't fix anything
Published on August 27, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, communication, dating, changes, archive
Pakistan Flooding Awareness
(Good Question!)
Here is a timeline (taken from DAWN) about the Pakistan flooding. The situation there is truly beyond belief... NOTE: donation information is located towards the end of this article.
- July 29: Flash floods and landslides caused by monsoon rains hit northwestern Pakistan and Pakistani-administered Kashmir as the country mourns its worst aviation disaster, which killed 152 people in Islamabad.
- July 31: Local authorities say the floods have killed at least 800. The deluge kills another 65 people in mountains across the border in Afghanistan.
- August 2: The UN says that nearly 980,000 people have been left homeless or have been displaced.
- The Red Cross appeals for aid.
- August 4: Prime Minister Yousuf Raza Gilani calls on his
Continue reading!Published on August 29, 2010 by Ash | No Comments | Read all recent Good Question! articles.
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Seven Years His Junior
(Ask A Guy)
Today I met this guy named Danny. He's Mexican and he just moved here so his English isn't very good. He's really short, adorable, and he bought me tacos...and he's 22. He told me I'm really pretty, etc and he gave me and my friend a ride home. I have his number and we're supposed to hang out again. The only problem is I'm 15. What should
confuseddd | age 15 | August 28, 2010
Daniel says...
While it's possible there could be all kinds of motives behind Danny's wanting to hang out with you more frequently, it is unlikely that he is simply wanting to get to know you. He showed you an awful lot of attention for someone who has only been in your area a short time and was forward enough to give you his number. Guys don't just randomly give girls their phone numbers unless they want you to call and they don't really want you to call unless they have plans for when you do. I'm not trying to say he is being nefarious or questionable in his integrity but it's easy to see where he would like this to go. You have to approach this carefully.
The trickiest part of this situation is the fact that you are only 15 and seven
Published on August 26, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, gauging interest, age differences
Parental Unfairness
(Ask A Guy)
Hi there! I'm a 19 year old college student who has been in a serious relationship for nearly a year. My boyfriend and I have a very active sex life, and I recently admitted this to my religious and very pro-abstinence parents. I have never shared their views on sexuality, and they have always been aware of this. They informed me that they
Belle | age 19 | United States | August 28, 2010
Daniel says...
As much as it sucks how your parents are placing these restrictions on you, they are at the very least providing financial support for you. Even though you are 19 years old, it is well within their rights as parents and hosts to expect you to follow some ground rules. As much as it sucks, when your views are so wildly divergent from those of your parents, you should expect some rough treatment when they learn just how much you disagree with them.
Being completely self-sufficient includes being capable of making car payments, paying for repairs on the car, providing your own health and auto insurance, covering your tuition, books, rent and food, and all the other unexpected expenses that come up (like new jeans when your current
Published on August 26, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: sex, ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, conflict resolution, parental issues
Long Distance Relationship
(Big Sister)
Me and the guy I've had a really big crush on for a while recently started dating (Friday the 13th, haha) and I couldn't be any happier. He means so much to me and we get along so well. We recently sat in my bedroom until 3am, doing nothing but listening to music and drawing on one another with sharpies. I couldn't ask for anything else.
Ivette says...
Sending cute letters and care packages can go a long way. He is going to miss you too over there so sending him small things like a little plush toy in your room or a letter with your signature scent will definitely make him feel better. It's really hard not to miss someone and you're probably going to have days where you're going to think are too hard to handle, but stay positive. Something that helps is just be more busy, try more in school, spend more time with your family and friends and always set time aside to talk to your boyfriend on the phone. IM can get a little frustrating real quick since it's not the same as hearing their voice or reading tones and sarcasm/jokes. Skype is a great way to keep in touch since you can web Continue reading!Published on August 29, 2010 by Ivette | No Comments | Read all recent Big Sister articles.
Tags: boyfriend, college, girlfriend, high school, girl, boy, long distance relationship, gf, bf, age difference
Can’t Get My Head Around You
(Ask A Guy)
I've known this guy for about two years! I didn't want to but I now totally love him, and when we talked about it (although I didn't say I loved him, just that I liked him), he told me he liked me. But he said he wasn't sure how much. He told me this about a year ago, but since the very first day I met him he's been hung up on this other
sarah | age 22 | August 27, 2010
Daniel says...
I highly doubt this guy is messing with you because messing with you would involve (1) knowledge that you are interested in him and (2) a willingness to recklessly endanger your feelings for him. If he was messing with you and you discovered it, then it's entirely possible that you would lose interest in him altogether--whether as a friend or potential boyfriend. At that point he would lose out on any kind of relationship with you. It would be silly of him to take such a chance. What's more likely is that he is simply unsure of what he wants. Guys are often unable to figure out exactly what will make them happy and the indecision can sometimes cause them to lurch from one behavior to the next, with very little apparent
Continue reading!Published on August 25, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, gauging interest
No Pursuit Whatsoever
(Ask A Guy)
I just started a new relationship and I have two issues with the guy. They aren't huge problems but I was hoping you could offer some insight on them.
- We slept together before we were ever "dating". After that, both of us were out of town for a while and we stayed in the touch the whole time and started hanging out when we got back. We
Jen | age 19 | Canada | August 27, 2010
Daniel says...
It could simply be a perception thing. Perception is huge among many groups of guys and it might be that his group of friends doesn't look too kindly on a guy that always drops everything and runs over to his girlfriend's house when she calls. He might not be at all opposed to sleeping over occasionally and simply doesn't realize that he's taken it too far to the other extreme. The other thing - don't kid yourself about your relationship being normal otherwise. 16 years' age difference means he is almost twice your age. That's a fairly abnormal relationship and it may factor into why he is unwilling to go over to your place. He may simply believe that he's the older person and is entitled to sleep wherever he wants. Regardless of
Continue reading!Published on August 25, 2010 by Daniel | No Comments | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: sex, ask a guy, advice, relationships, dating, gauging interest, pursuing your interests
Health Tip: Help Prevent Bloating
(Health Nut)
(HealthDay News) - When your belly feels stretched and uncomfortably full, you've probably got a case of bloating. The U.S. National Library of Medicine suggests how to prevent bloating:- Don't chew gum or drink carbonated beverages, particularly if they contain a lot of sorbitol or fructose.
- Avoid gas-causing foods such as turnips, cabbage, beans, Brussels sprouts and lentils.
- Eat your food slowly.
- Don't smoke.
- Treat constipation, but be careful with fiber supplements, which may worsen symptoms.
Published on August 25, 2010 by Jamie | No Comments | Read all recent Health Nut articles.
Tags: health nut, health tip
He Knows How You Feel
(Ask A Guy)
I need advice on this complicated situation. I'm 18 years old and I got to know this 25-year old guy during the summer. His parents are very close family friends of mine. I got to know him through a day. We had lunch together with our families and then at night he offered to take me out to this party. He told me to stick to him since he
Natasha | age 18 | August 26, 2010
Daniel says...
This guy was certainly intrigued by you--something that often happens when a guy is just getting to know a girl. But this does not guarantee that he was interested in dating you or that he had already made up his mind to pursue something more with you. When a guy and girl first get to know one another, they are sort of feeling each other out, learning about one another, and seeing what makes each other tick. Sometimes this process can mean feelings that appear stronger than they really are. A guy's interest level can appear to fluctuate wildly during this time because a guy's interest level is based on what he knows about you. Think of the process of learning about each other as something like pouring water in a bathtub. If
Continue reading!Published on August 24, 2010 by Daniel | 1 Comment | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, gauging interest, getting to know you, feelings
Whose Move? Your Move.
(Ask A Guy)
Is it a turn off to guys if a girl texts a guy first? Because I am interested in this guy and I keep debating whether or not to text him and I'm not sure if I should. We say hi to each other in the halls at school and stuff, so it's not like we've never talked
amberwamber | age 16 | August 26, 2010
Daniel says...
If you already have this guy's phone number, then it's obvious that he is comfortable with the thought of you keeping in touch with him. Whether that is via a phone call, a text message, or even carrier pigeon, he wouldn't give you such a clear representation of communication with him if he didn't want you to use it. I would say there is nothing wrong with texting a guy before he texts you--particularly when you already know his phone number. Could it catch him off guard? Sure. Could it push him away? Sure. Could it increase his interest in dating you? It's definitely possible. And that's just the thing: there's no telling exactly how any random guy will react to a girl chasing after him a bit.
Every guy's preferences
Published on August 24, 2010 by Daniel | 1 Comment | Read all recent Ask A Guy articles.
Tags: ask a guy, advice, relationships, gauging interest, pursuing a guy, making the first move